“Showing emotion is a sign of weakness”- this stigma has made us think sharing our feelings is something that we shouldn’t do. Think, how many people do you hear openly admit they attend weekly therapy sessions? Or, share that they had a good cry in the shower last night? Not many will.
We hide our emotions because we’d prefer not feeling uncomfortable, or risk revealing to much to one person. But if we can’t be advocates for ourselves, then how will we learn to advocate for others? People are trained to numb their feelings through the use of drugs, alcohol, or simply not communicating… We are depriving ourselves from acquiring genuine joy. If you believe being vulnerable results in pain, then you will never create an opportunity to invite other emotions, like joy, into your experiences.
Loyalty is the root of maintaining deep connections with other individuals. Your allegiance to someone helps build trust between two people who have a friendship, or are involved romantically. But, it seems people are struggling to commit to any type of relationship. Guarding ourselves, and not sharing what we are feeling is destroying our self-esteem and relationships. This sense of horror when thinking of revealing our true selves to the world is crippling our enjoyment in life.
We are fearful in order to survive, but living in fear is no way to be alive. Humans are meant to be social beings, but often, our fear of being hurt is more heightened than our desire to be loved. I can say that those you trust and love most can be the ones who also have the power to hurt you the worst. When people are asked about love, the first thing that comes to mind is often, ‘heart break.’ Our past betrayals can guide us to develop shallow relationships, rather than meaningful ones, as a protective mechanism. This safe guard is built to avoid feelings of disappointment, or abandonment but it also prevents us from creating new, healthy relationships.
In refusing to be vulnerable, we prohibit ourselves from being authentic. You may feel at ease by avoiding the risk of rejection, but eventually this routine won’t satisfy your need for belonging. Vulnerability is the base of all our changing emotions, and without it, we can not invite ultimate happiness and unfeigned love to our doorstep.
P.S. I cry in the shower all the time, it’s okay!