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Jolie
April 5, 2024 11:06 pm

Starr Charters, from Garden Heights, really cares about unfair stuff like too many people being put in jail and police being too rough. She wants everyone to know and do something about it, so she talks about it a lot. She’s like, “Hey, let’s fix this.”

Faliku
April 5, 2024 1:25 pm

The written speech talks about the big problem of people, especially those from minority communities, getting unfairly arrested or even hurt or killed by the police. The speaker, who seems to be an athlete, describes how this issue is deeply personal, like losing a close friend to violence right before your eyes. It’s a nightmare situation that sadly happens too often.
The image shows a person with a big, poofy hairstyle holding a basketball up to their face. The hair and the basketball stand out against the dark background, giving the picture a powerful and almost intense feel. It represents the speaker’s identity as an athlete, but also hints at the seriousness of the issues they are addressing beyond just sports.

Abduljaleel
April 5, 2024 12:41 pm

That’s very great about these things because that’s how it’s helping and that’s how it’s extending and displaying more and more strength.I like that this piece was examined via a social-political and racial lens, which enables readers to consider the implications the author raises more closely. I concur that there is a link between urban design and segregation, and that developers deliberately targeted Black people with their actions.

April 5, 2024 6:35 am

Positive: effectively captures the urgency of addressing mass incarceration and police brutality, utilizing personal experiences to engage the audience and emphasize the need for change.

I would have loved to see you delve into the significant impact of redlining on marginalized communities, which could provide a more to the analysis of systemic inequalities.

Positive: talks about call to action for sustainable and equitable urban planning resonates strongly, encouraging collective action and advocacy for justice.

Somaia
April 5, 2024 4:54 am

This writing effectively brings attention to the issues of mass incarceration and police brutality. The opening statement and compelling closing remarks highlight the urgency of addressing these injustices and the need for collective action. Overall, it serves as a powerful call to action for reforming the justice system and advocating for justice for all.

Jaden
April 5, 2024 4:40 am

I thought this was a really well-written essay, and because I come from a background where mass incarceration is a problem in my city, I could relate to it. I was drawn in by your cover image and found myself considering how it related to what you had written. Overall, good job.

Camryn
April 5, 2024 3:37 am

This is a great way to write and show what is happening in our communities. It’s so good to see high schoolers bring awareness to issues like this since it is representing on how kids could be gone too soon just by being kids. The communities should come together and address this issues and find a way to nip this in the bud.

Cassidy
April 5, 2024 2:21 am

I like how you related this closely to your own experience as a person living in the United States, as well as put the readers in the lenses of someone else to really put some emphasis on how big of an issue this is. Throughout your writing piece, you did really well with showing how passionate you are regarding this topic and how the issue of mass incarceration should not be something that people desensitize themselves to. I wholeheartedly agree with this and believe that it is important for to realize how much this can negatively affect not only people today, but future generations too. Thank you for sharing such a great writing piece.

Kiyerah
April 4, 2024 11:31 pm

The title “Uncovering the Truth: The Shocking Reality of America’s Mass Incarceration Epidemic Revealed in Mock Trial!” stands out for its ability to immediately captivate attention and spark curiosity. It skillfully combines elements of revelation, shock, and a legal context to create a compelling narrative. The use of the phrase “Uncovering the Truth” suggests that there is a hidden reality surrounding America’s mass incarceration crisis, waiting to be exposed. This hints at a deeper layer of information that challenges commonly held beliefs or sheds light on the harsh realities of the situation

Last edited 1 month ago by Kiyerah
Emanuel
April 4, 2024 9:01 pm

This was a good essay by Starr Charters which presented her life and views. I liked the use of imagery in some parts of the essay. I also enjoyed the use of personal connections to what shes experienced in her life.

Rashad
April 4, 2024 7:16 pm

This was a really good essay. Once I began reading I couldn’t stop. How would you think MLK would react to your essay?

Kennedy
April 4, 2024 3:48 pm

I found this piece relatable due to my background in an area plagued by incarceration issues. The justice system often fails us, yet demands our trust, leading to division. Education and prevention are crucial. I think the  image of the child with the ball connected very well with your writing piece. Mass incarceration, particularly of African Americans, is a pressing issue demanding attention and action. It’s disheartening how individuals are exploited for personal gain and unfairly portrayed as monsters.I definitely think that something needs to be done about this recurring issues in out society  

April 4, 2024 2:57 pm

Hello Elaina. This post was very powerful and I really enjoyed reading it, especially the opening. Mass incarceration is a big problem that we as a union need to speak about more. It’s really unfortunate how America pushes African Americans into jail for crimes that could’ve gotten different punishments. I agree that something needs to be done about this because people who we trust are using these people for their own gain and painting them as the monsters

Lily E Reaser
Lily E Reaser
April 4, 2024 2:04 pm

The opening statement vividly painted the harsh realities of violence and injustice, while the closing statement compellingly called for collective action and highlighted the potential of the United Nations as a platform for driving meaningful change.

Bobbie
April 4, 2024 2:02 pm

The opening powerfully hooked me in by grounding the mass incarceration issue in your personal storytelling and Starr’s credibility as an athlete advocate. However, the closing gets a bit confusing, pivoting to discuss reforming the justice system through the UN. Overall, maintaining a tighter focus on specific injustices and calls to action could make this mock trial case even more impactful, Great work!

Myles
April 3, 2024 9:35 pm

I enjoyed reading this because I can relate coming from an area where incarceration is an issue. I feel like the justice system has failed us plenty of times yet it pushes so hard for us to have trust in it. it creates its own division amongst itself and its people based of how they operate. Not all people need to be placed in jail, those who do should however those who are simply not guilty or innocent amongst the judge knowing what’s going on should rather gain education and insight on how to prevent things like this. What led me to this post honestly was the child holding the ball because it reminded me of Colin Kapernick.

Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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