This is a poem about the violence that goes on in Oakland. This poem connects to the story of Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare and how they felt like they were stuck in the middle of a fight that they didn’t start.
This is Oakland
This is Oakland,
Fear and Pain fill these streets
Where Hate vs Hate always meet
Violence is taking us deeper into the past
That there seems to be no future
For us,
The youth,
Just like Romeo and Juliet
We are TRAPPED
By the violence that was built before
Our existence
And we are all reaching and
Reaching to find our escape.
But we drown in the
Oppression
Before starting the
Progression
The struggle is real
And hurt is all we feel
No one is going to hand us peace
So we just need to keep reaching and
Reaching till we find our release.
This is Oakland,
The world is blinded by all the
Conflict
That they can’t see the
Sacrifice
They can’t see the beauty that lies within
All they see is the bodies that have been laid in these premises.
This is Oakland
The world makes promises that they
Will stop the hurt but
They don’t
progress
And all they do is
Oppress
We live in the shadows
Fearing the light of
Society
We are the Montagues
While society is the Capulets
Soon this feud
Might end and we might make amends
But sooner or later we will have to defend
Our right to be us
And not what society wants to see
Because
This is Oakland
And I should be able to just be me
Without the fear of a gun
I should just be able to have simple fun
And not be on alert and be ready to run
Not having to fear anyone
I cannot wait until this war is finally done.
But I fear it has only begun.
Dear Lupita,
I LOVED your poem. I can visualize the way Oakland is with your poem and how our youth is exposed to hate. I also like the way you used the feuds with oakland to compare with Romeo and Juliet. Something i connected to is when you said, “And I should be able to just be me, Without the fear of a gun”. This connected to me because i feel like whenever i going somewhere i’m not same because guns have become a big problem today and almost everyone has one and knowing that doesn’t make me feel safe. Overall your poem was really moving and I really enjoyed it. I hope you keep writing. – Christina
Dear Christina,
Thank you very for reading my poem and I am very happy to see that you were able to connect to it because that was one of my goals while writing this poem. Hopefully in my future post you can connect to them as well.
Dear Lupita,
Thank you for sharing your amazing poem! I enjoyed reading every word in it. I love when you said
“This is Oakland
And I should be able to just be me
Without the fear of a gun
I should just be able to have simple fun
And not be on alert and be ready to run
Not having to fear anyone”
That was very strong, and the rhyming and the wording of everything is great! I also feel the same way, that when we’re home, or anywhere, there’s no sure way to say that we’re safe. Keep up the amazing work of your poetry!
Sincerely,
Kassandra
Dear Kassandra,
Thank you for taking time out of your day and deciding to read my poem. Thank you for all the great feedback.
Dear Lupita
Your poem is so good. I think it’s clear that you are trying to show how Oakland has a lot of violence. I really like your poem because your expressing the violence and I really like how u relate it to the Montagues and Capulets and how society is the capulets and whe are the montagues. I liked how at the end you said “but I fear it only begun” i really like how you ended your poem because it shows that you feel like violence will keep on getting worse going on in the future.
Dear Lupita,
I love your poem, I think it really explains the claim your trying to explain, which is violence. Your poem is really good because you rhyme, and that’s a good thing to do when writing poems. A line that stood out to me was,” This is Oakland, and I should be able to just be me, without the fear of a gun, I should be able to have simple fun, and not be on alert and ready to run, not having to fear anyone, I cannot wait until this war is finally done, but I fear it has only begun”. I think those lines are really strong because at the end it’s like wow, such a great ending. Overall you did amazing with your poem, I hope you post more on here, because you are a really great writer.
-Tania