black and white 10 number

This is my body
Born in the cold month of January
raised in south philadelphia 
and now MY BODY is just a place to help people
Always trying to be the best 
so I can show people the way to improve themselves 
when they look at me
Point breeze is where I was raised
I love to learn new things about the past of humanity
By reading and writing
And just trying to make this world a better place step by step
This body has long limbs and a big nose but I deal with the hate
I’m gonna be the person who can change things
Around these places

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Madison
October 12, 2021 7:35 pm

I really like how you brought a lot of imagery to it, but i think a slight format change would really help. Even just splitting up the lines a bit more. But it is really good for what it is.

September 24, 2021 7:33 pm

I think your poem was very good. I like how you talked about your body, features, etc. I think that helps other people realize their bodies are amazing just how they are.

Reese
September 24, 2021 7:33 pm

Your poem was great! I love how you want to be the person to make the world a better place. The level of ambition you must have is extraordinary!

September 24, 2021 5:37 pm

I really like your poem. I like how you reference your body as a place to help people. You use your body to do good and use it to better humanity not make it worse. If you let it, your body can do amazing things.

Kate
September 24, 2021 5:33 pm

This was a beautiful poem. I loved how you talked about how your body is a way in which you can change the world to become better. I liked your idea of how bodies help us to help people and improve their lives. I also think we can do the same things to improve our lives.

September 24, 2021 5:29 pm

This poem was brilliant in it’s way of relating the author to a positive change in the world. I love how you incorporated your surroundings and beliefs to describe the person you are and wish to be. I look forward to reading more posts by you in the future.

September 24, 2021 5:27 pm

I love the way you started the poem. It drew me in right off the bat. There was something about the power of the wording that you used that drew my eye to your writing. The poem tells me a lot about who you are as well as who you want to be. I am interested to know the places that you will go to in the future, and what you will do to be the change in the world.

Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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