Knock knock
When I heard the door, the bell rang as well.
“Get the door please Sasha!!” said Ms. Charles, my last period teacher.
Creep, creep, creep
Ms.Williams heels cracking on the floor, she walked into the class with a bunch of papers. She started to yell the student’s names.
“I knew it was the report cards,” said junior the white kid sitting next to me.
“we on J now,” she said with a disappointed face, so I knew it was my name.
I knew my name was next because I’m the only one with a J at the beginning of my last name in the class. I didn’t know how to feel.
“Jackson, come up!!!” she said.
“Thank you, ma’am” as I took the white piece of paper.
“You can go now,” she said as I was about to go back to my seat.
I went outside waiting for the bus so I can go home.
“Damn it’s freaking hot!!” said the old lady, “the AC better be on in the damn bus!!” as she got on the bus.
It’s always a long ride whenever I’m going home because there’s always a lot of traffic, Then I got to my destination. I got off the white and blue bus.
Whoop whoop
the dog barking mad loud in the street, you could hear all the way from the other side of the road when the black chiwawa barks. I was strutting on the left side of the road going downhill forgetting that my average is 10 times less than what my mom is expecting from me.
Knock knock on the brown door with a black lock rail.
As soon I knocked my mom said, “Give me the report card!!”
“The school called,” she said. I took it out of my bookbag self satisfied and passed it to her. She was mad but at the end of the day I passed and she did understand me. Something I have found out about myself from this experience is I can do better. Ever since that day, I am trying to put more work in. I believe that I can be successful but there will always be a struggle and optical. People always think that in life you don’t need to work to make money but they are wrong.
Jackson Jocelyn
I like this story and I understand the sentiment because it is something I can identify with as a student. Mentioning that you were dreading the letter J because it was getting to your name was a great addition. I think you could improve this writing by being more descriptive of the setting and people.
Dear Jackson,
I feel many people will be inspired by your story and I agree with your takeaway from the situation, that we can all do better. The fact that you were motivated to put in moire time and effort to making yourself a better student is very inspiring to those who are struggling. I am sure that you are doing much better in your academic career than you were when you wrote this story.
This story was very good I understand it but this part when you said “She was mad but at the end of the day I passed and she did understand me.” i was confused on how she was mad even though you passed but overall you made me take this story put it in my head and imagine it you did really good great story.
Dear jackson:
I am impressed by your story “the end of the semester”, because you were able to paint a very vivid picture of your experience.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Ms.Williams heels cracking on the floor” I think this is beautiful writing because it shows very good attention to detail.
Another sentence that I loved was: ‘Something I have found out about myself from this experience is I can do better.” This stood out for me because it shows a lesson you learned from this experience.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because your writing style and attention to detail are very mature.
you painted such a vivid picture i think many of us around the world can relate to. great work!.