by

November 29, 2022

 

Dark Skies Colassal Waves

Its’ calm

Peaceful,

A sense of euphoria rushes through my spine

As a blast of the ocean breeze grazes my face,

The water below along with my Pride (my ship) are in perfect harmony

Both still,

The sky resmembles a tangerine

A perfect afternoon as the sun sets creating a vibrant orange across the sky,

My destination is set,

All is well until a dark patch is spotted in the sky

Following that patch is a layer of dark purplish clouds within the sky,

A sudden shake in the water slighlty rocks Pride out of its tranquility

Fear strikes my soul looking above to find that the sky is subemersed in dark purple clouds,

Rain begins to pour as more and more waves strike the ship

I brace for impact,

In the distance I see it

A colassal wave resembling the mountains of yosemite,

I am in awe and in total defeat

I know there is nothing I can do,

Pride begins to shift upward until

A violent jerk occurs causing the ship to be completely submerged,

I’m in utter darkness

I can’t see,

Water in my lungs

I can’t breathe,

I hold on to Pride but it tears away from my grasp

I’m left tumbling in the waves,

Out of air I reach for the strap on my life jacket and pull

I’m on the verge of passing out as my body begins to float

Towards the surface of the water,

My ship slowly sinks towards the bottom of the ocean,

I try to chase it but I have no strength

Trying to be the bigger man I had to let Pride go,

My destination being knocked off course

A sense of purpose gone,

I’m left having to deal with the aftermath of the reckage

Staring at the clouds wondering why this has happened to me,

FIghting to stay awake but my eyes are heavy

I close my eyes and wake up to find myself somwhere else,

Clear blue skies above me

Warm bage sand beneath me,

All seems well

I stand and feel the sand between my toes,

Rerouting my destination

while having to deal with the loss of my ship,

But somhow someway I’m still

alive.


Unspoken Trauma

  


“Why I’m Dumb as Hell”

You like the attention don’t you,

Well that’s okay me to,

But as of lately I’ve been thinking

Maybe you should just be you,

I mean I get it

The attention and wanting to be cool,

But I think you lost sight of it all

And started acting a fool,

But you’re no different from me

Matter of fact we’re the same,

Started to point the finger at others and

avoided the blame,

We spoke to each other

And you tried to put me to shame,

But it’s funny how our mouths keep yapping

My how we complain,

But why I’m dumb as hell,

Is it because I put the needs of others in front of my own,

Why I’m dumb as hell,

I would’ve quit earlier due to the consequences if I had known,

No

Why I’m dumb as hell,

Maybe it’s cause I pushed my friends away when things weren’t going so well at home,

Why I’m dumb as hell,

It’s because I didn’t realize till now my full potential when I let go and accept being alone.


Reflecting on the Significance of my Name in 2018

 

My name is Jessika was given to me when I was born obviously. My mom and dad  gave me this name because she liked the name but instead of having to put a C on my name she decided to put a K, so it can be just a little different. I am the youngest out of my 2 sisters Maritza and Daniela  and 2 brother Randu and Eduardo. My two sister name got chosen because they thought there wasnt alot of people called Maritza and Daniela mean while my brother eduardo is named after my dad Eduardo and my brother Randu  after a soap opera that was back in the old days.

 

To my siblings I was like the little runt in the family, because when I was little I didn’t understand much and couldn’t pronounce my name right I would say kika. I started to notice not a lot of people named Jessika didn’t have a K. At first I thought it was weird but cool I guess because I didn’t really think about my name.

Only part was kind of annoying about my name was many people would spell it wrong and I would have to correct them and that even if I wanted a keychain with my name they would have the name Jessika spelled with the k only c which sucked. I didn’t really give much thought about my name because I could honestly care less about my name because to me it’s just a name I was given at birth by my parents that have done alot for me which I am very grateful for. If I had a different name it still wouldn’t matter because to me it’s just a name that was given to me. My friends call jessi for short which is fine I don’t really have a reaction but Other then that I just see my name as any other person would see their own name. Not everyone has a meaning or relationship to their names because some people don’t think about their names as something more. If my name had a meaning I guess it would be cool wouldn’t think much of it.  


Reflecting on the Significance of my Last Name in 2018

Rodrigo Pena Lopez was the name I was given when I was born. Even though my birth certificate has my two last names I only like using Pena because it’s shorter and in Mexico my whole family goes by the word Peña’s, that is how people know us over there. The meaning of the word Pena is a rock. This describes me a lot because I’m a person that doesn’t fall down that easily just like the rock doesn’t break that easy.

I share my last name with my uncles and cousins. Not only do I share that with them I also share the love for soccer. The funny thing is that almost everyone plays defense. My dad, my uncles, my cousins, my brother and I have been defense our whole lives. This relates to me as being a rock because being a defence is not easy because you have to block the other team from scoring at your goal.

My Dad has been my inspiration. He is a strong person and a hard working man. My dad works as a butcher at a store. My dads struggle was being able to leave his family for 8 years to be able to support our family.This is why I’m glad of being his son because I have the same last name as him which is Pena and for me Pena is someone that doesn’t give up that easily on the things we want or would like to accomplish. My dad has proven that to me because he is a person that works hard every day so that our family can always be happy.

I, Rodrigo Pena Lopez, I’m a strong person that won’t give up on my dreams until I accomplish them because I’m like the rock called Pena that never breaks that easily so I won’t give up that easily either. My dreams are being able to succeed in life so that I can advocate for myself and be able to help my parents in the future.


Two Wolves

Vesna Sot

February 1, 2018

Ms. Oliver

Certification

 

Two Wolves

 

Vesna Sot is the name I carry everywhere I go. It’s a  traditional Khmer name in which Vesna means destiny/fate and Sot means purity. Many people know me as Vesna Sot but not many know me by my nickname, Bull.

 

I was born a very chubby baby, seven pounds and fourteen ounces. This along with the fact that as a child my lower lip was perched resembling a bulldog is the reason my mother gave me the nickname Bull.

 

As an individual, I believe that my names are two conflicting identities that reflect who I am as a person.

 

Bull is the name I grew up with and because of that I feel more connected to the name Bull than I do with Vesna. Bull is the name that only family refer to me as and reflects who I am in my early stages of life. Bull is more of the introvert who would rather stay at home watching cartoons or playing video games rather than spending time with friends. Bull is the more kind-hearted gentle side of my two identities who holds a lot of empathy towards others. This empathy comes from Bull having to grow up and watch mom struggle to raise six children on her own. Growing up I was Bull but entering school I was Vesna.

 

Vesna is the identity I was more in tuned with entering high school. In contrast to Bull, Vesna is the more outgoing personality that understands that relationships are vital when it comes to striving in school. Especially nowadays, when the work is centered around being in groups. Vesna is only concerned about his academic success and personal growth. This meaning that school comes first before anything and that exercise or any type of leadership is welcomed in order to grow. Vesna is a leader who is involved within various school activities such as internships and senior leadership. Vesna has goals of someday attending Stanford to study juvenile law and becoming a Michelin star chef.

 

In a way Bull is who I am but Vesna is who I had to become in order to succeed in school. Vesna seems like the more dominant personality but too often he forgets his motivation and purpose so he reverts back to Bull in order to understand his roots and deepest desires. However, Bull is the reason he puts off Vesna’s homework to watch youtube videos. In a way, both identities must work hand in hand with one another.

 

In order to truly become who I am, I must be in perfect harmony with both Bull and Vesna. Not only striving in school, but understanding why I must strive. This along with treating others with respect and accepting my own bad habits such as procrastination is the version of me I truly identify as. Two wolves constantly at battle but once in unison they from a strength comparable to no other.

 

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