Luis Fernando Carrillo is my full name but, not everyone knows my middle name. I don’t talk about my middle name because it’s not for me. My dad’s full name is the exact same as mine so I’m just a Jr. However, everyone knows my dad by his middle name instead of his first name unlike me, I’m known by my first name and not my middle. We might be father and son but we’re as opposite like black and white.

My dad chose to name me “Luis” just because that was his name so he chose to name me after himself. Sometimes I would want to have a different name because the name “Luis” is very common, it seems like almost everyone in the world is called “Luis”. I would have liked to have a unique name that nobody else already has.

My second name is “Fernando.” I don’t like being known by my middle name because there are family problems that run in my family that make me not like it. This problem starts with a stepbrother that is the same age as me. I don’t get along with him at all, our relationship is like of cats and dogs. To my fortitude, he has my middle name as his first name. I especially don’t like being known by my middle name because it reminds me of him.

Fernando also reminds me of all the problems my mom went through when she found out my dad had another child almost at the same time he had me. When I first found out I had a stepbrother, my heart dropped to the ground. I didn’t know what to think or say, I was speechless, I felt like someone has stolen all the words from my mouth. Overall I’ll always stand strong for my name because even though my father and I don’t have the strongest relationship, he’s always going to be my father.

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Eva
Eva
February 26, 2018 1:01 am

Luis – your problematic relationship with the name “Fernando” makes sense. I’m sorry that you have to carry that. I hope that the load continues to get lighter as you get older. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable.

Angie
February 13, 2018 6:50 pm

Your piece said a lot about the type of person you are. You are a strong person who struggled to accept your name but at the end of the day you take pride in it, forgetting the negative story behind it. I liked it and it was really nice to read the metaphors. Great Job!!

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