0 0 votes
Rate This Post
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
3 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Jillian
March 25, 2019 3:25 pm

Dear Ajaeya,
Your poem “raining” is truly magnificent. I personally enjoy the rain and doing rainy day activities. The rain makes me feel calm and at peace. Your poem perfectly describes how I feel when it’s raining. In addition, your poem does a great job at creating a visual for me.
Your descriptive words and literary devices create the image, sound, and feeling. I’ve been gravitating towards a set of lines (4&5) “ an umbrella that invites the droplets to fall to the ground” These two lines have a different outlook of an umbrella and its relation to rain. Your poem is helping me find a different perspective.
In addition, your last two lines creates such a realistic visual in my mind.“Until I take away the shield so that the droplets can run across my face”. These lines not only create an image, but it also evokes a feeling of peace and the feeling of running water on my face.
Your poem reminds me of the rain in nyc. The pitter patter of rain on rooftops, and the falling through the grates. The image that you chose adds to the image i’m thinking of. The dark colors remind me of NYC in the rain at night.
I can’t wait to see more of your work. It evokes a lot of feeling. Your work also does a great job of creating visuals.

Ethan
March 19, 2019 6:18 pm

Why do I get this feeling that before you published this, the poem of yours was longer, and you deleted the bits you didn’t really need to make your poem more powerful, which it surely is. Am I right or nah

Charlotte
March 14, 2019 4:33 pm

Dear Ajaeya,
I am intrigued by your poem because the way you phrase your words leads to a joyful feeling. It is a if I can almost feel the rain on my face as well. One thing you said that stands out for me is: “..they run away into/ grates where they dissapear..”. I think this is interesting because of the way you personifyed the rain drops. Your poem reminds me of something that I have experienced. When it was raining once, I was inside the house waiting for my friend’s parents to pick them up. They begged and begged to go outside in the rain. So, we ran out into the rain, ran up and down the street in circles laughing as the rain poured down our faces. I believe that your poem captures both the beauty of rain and the joy that some feel when they take away their umbrella and just let the rain fall onto them. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. I look forward to reading your next work for the beauty you can capture through words.
Charlotte

Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

CONTACT US

Email allisonpr@gmail.com Call or Text 917-612-3006

Sending
Missions on Youth Voices
3
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account