Dear Congress and President Trump,
We are students from Fremont High in Oakland, CA. We have been researching about Nuclear Weapons and which country has the largest arsenal of nuclear weapons. We found that Russia and the U.S.A are in the top of the countries that have more nuclear weapons. Russia has 7,300 and the U.S.A has 6,970 nuclear weapons. We believe this is critical because if other countries start to build nuclear weapon this can cause a tension between different countries and this could cause us to get into a nuclear war with other countries. We have a clear example of that with the tension between the North Korea and the U.S.A, which could cause the U.S.A and North Korea to start a nuclear war . If that happens other countries would join them and it could be totally a big chaos because it could affect the environment, many people could die because the radiation and the explosion in a nuclear war, many people are afraid because North Korea wants to build nuclear weapons just to start a war with the U.S.A. In the last few weeks the US has bombed Syria and a base of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. This has created a big fear in innocent people because the President of the U.S.A wants to keep on building more nuclear weapons. In addition we have found that the U.S itself spends more than $598 million dollars in the military alone. A study by THE CENTER FOR NONPROLIFERATION STUDIES say’s “The United States will spend at least $ 179 billion over the nine fiscal years of 2010-2018 on its nuclear arsenal, averaging $20 billion per year, with costs increasing from $16 billion to $ 25 billion per year over that timeframe”. And this shows that the U.S.A is spending more money on weapons then they do on education and health care. And other countries can see this as a threat and start doing the same thing and that can start up a whole nuclear war between powerful countries. Even small countries are building nuclear weapons for example North Korea is starting to test its nuclear weapons and that’s a sign that they want to start a war with the U.S.A and this can bring other countries into to a war.
We concluded that you can use your influence to reduce the U.S.A’s military spending because it could be so dangerous for all the civilians. In addition we also concluded that the U.S government should spend more money in education, helping people in the poorer parts of the U.S.A or the veterans that are homeless since they once fought for the goodness of this country.
It shows that you guys have done a lot of research all of the evidence is good, you have good idea about nuclear bombs and the effects of a war. Need to address solution better. Provide a more concrete solution, develop it more you have a good start.
Creating nuclear bombs and having war with other countries is all not worth it it, because there’s innocent people involved here. They wasted too much money on their weapons but instead they could have used that money to help support those who are in need of it more than the nuclear bomb. If the U.S and North Korea get into a fight/war and drops nuclear bombs at each other, what’s going to be the benefit because they’re gonna be in a war, people die, enviroment gets affected then they both step aside/back depending on who won, after that it starts all over again. They don’t realize that what they’re doing is harming many many many people including kids and babies.
Your evidence and facts are really good when it talks about your topic for nuclear weapons. I couldn’t really find a thesis to this, so it was kind of confusing for me to understand. I would suggest piecing what you got from your evidence and solutions into making a thesis. You should also broaden your solution, like giving a number to show how much money should be given to education, how it will be given to poor people, and helping veterans.
Do you think that this message to trump will stop him from spending $16 billion to $ 25 billion per year on weapons? What will happen when someone trys to go to war with use and we haven’t made any new weapons or the new ones we have arent good anymore
I think this a very important topic and you provided very good stats to show the reality of mass nuclear buildups. You should add an argument driven thesis right off the bat so we know why you are talking about nuclear buildups. Other than that, well done.
Ahmir’s suggestions are all very good. Some context could definitely help readers understand more about your issue. Since your solution idea is that the government should spend less on the military and nuclear weapons in particular, more explanation connecting to that would strengthen your message.
You guys should start off by telling us what is your argument instead of giving us straight facts because we don’t know what your talking about and you’re just stating facts already. Your thesis is unclear I don’t really understand the argument you are trying to make. You should start off with what is a nuclear weapon and why is it bad. Why is it important for us to not get in a nuclear war? You should put how much money the U.S spends on education and health care compared to the military and explain why this is a problem.