Minding her own business, little Vivian walks down the stairs in her J.C. Penny sweater. But-oh no! She bumps into the ferocious monster known as the average fourth grader. The creature stares her down and growls a terrible one-liner. No, like an actually terrible one-liner.

“No one cares about you!” That’s a playground insult, a weak attempt at deflecting blame, 50s bully dialogue, and honestly – the best piece of advice I’ve ever received, although I’m sure that Rebecca from Ms. Murphy’s class didn’t intend it to be. 

Yes, nobody cares about you! Now, before you close the tab, hear me out. Here’s a golden rule for you: If you, given that you’re an average and not extremely judgemental person, wouldn’t give a flying flapjack about something, other people won’t give a flying flapjack about that something either. Yeah, I noticed the spinach stuck in your teeth. Yeah, I’m going to point it out. No, I really don’t think you’re a close relative of Bigfoot. Maybe you don’t believe that. Maybe I sound mean. Maybe everyone in your life sounds mean – fine, let’s do some multiple choice. 

You see your friend and they have a big, fat, pimple on their nose. Do you a) laugh and throw tomatoes, b) ignore it, or c) casually point it out? If you said A, please stop trying to be edgy, you’re not funny. If you said B or C, congrats, you’re a normal person! And since everyone else will say B or C, congrats, you’re surrounded by normal people!

Now, why am I talking about this? What does this have to do with the art of not caring? The purpose of my little soapbox stunt here is, not caring is simple-on paper. It’s easy to tell someone to ignore the haters, hey, it’s easy for ME to tell you to ignore the haters. To tell you the truth, I can’t even ignore the haters. An offhand comment about my sweater looking funky will send me into a mental breakdown. The point here is, how do we stop caring? Before, let’s look into WHY we even care in the first place. 

Okay, I’m going to assume that none of you reading this are small children. Little kids are funny. We’re afraid to raise our hands to ask a question, while they ask the most out-of-pocket, stupidest questions known to man-without raising their hands, of course. We feel embarrassed when people see at a bad moment, and ugly photos have served as potent blackmail. For a three year old, though? They’ll gladly lick up their baby gloop and smile proudly as they chew on a TV cable. So, I guess that begs the question: what changed? Why does growing up make us less daring? Less willing to take a chance, to take the risk? Well, to start: some risks are stupid. There’s a reason why we’re not at risk for sticking our fingers into electrical sockets anymore-we start thinking, basically. And, of course, there’s the fact that society doesn’t really appreciate when we act out of line. People don’t want to be around someone who causes drama and disruption, and so our peers start to push us away. 

So, why do we care about what other people think? I’ll sum up every tear-stained pillow and sleepless night in two reasonss: On one hand, it’s because we want to fit in and be accepted. We want to have people who understand us, and so we care about what others think. On the other hand, it’s because we care about our own self-image and want to be seen in a positive light. We want people to think that we’re cool, interesting, and attractive. And so, we start to care too much about what other people think. 

So, how do we stop caring so much? The answer is simple: Stop worrying about what people think and start focusing on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be aware of other people’s opinions, but it’s more important to stay true to yourself. Don’t let other people’s opinions dictate your actions. Stop obsessing over social media and start living your life. Don’t be afraid to take risks, even if it means you might fail. And, most importantly, be kind to yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect, so don’t expect yourself to be. Listen, if I met you in real life, maybe I wouldn’t like you. But that’s okay, because I’m just one out of 8 billion people. Why waste your life thinking about strangers’ opinions when you could focus on the people that actually like you? It’s your life, not anyone else’s. 

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June 6, 2023 5:38 pm

Dear Vivian:
I am excited about your essay, “No one cares ,” because the title to your essay stood out to me and sometimes i can relate to the title
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: ” On one hand, its because we want to fit in and be accepted. We want to have people who understands us and so we care about what others think.” I think this is relatable because many girls go through this and that causes a lot of mental illness.
Another sentence that I loved was: “Its your life, not anyone elses.” This stood out for me because i had to learn this after having my life controlled by others and this sentence was a motivating reminder for me.
I have read this article http://www.mayoclinic.org .I thought you might be interested in this because it talks about how teenagers use social media to create online identities which can lead to many consequences.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because your essay is something that can wake people up and realize many things.Your essay can inspire people to enjoy themeselves

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