30 boys in a small room, 3 kids at one desk
sitting in a row, some in fancy jackets
the sounds of Arabic
I had seen my brother in his class, and
I remembered what things were like for me
at his age; not the best education in Yemen
I turn to my friend:
“Maybe I’m going there, to the U.S.A”
He smiled, happy for me.
20 boys in the big park, but there used to be 60
5 boys who play soccer, and 5 boys who play
basketball “Why aren’t more people in the park? There are usually a lot?”
And I saw my mother playing with my brother
it let me remember when I was little,
my mom would take me to park and she would play with me.
my aunt turn to me –
“I hear from your mom and your father
and they was speaking about you going to go U.S
She said to me.
Would you go? I said
I Still thinking but You going to be happy for my
She said no; I know the will heard you
but I will not be happy for you, I’ll be too sad that you left.
They were my and my uncle.
It was just my and my Uncle,
just the 2 of us who came from Yemen in the plane .
I was wearing a jacket and shirt
I saw my father in the car.
I realized that I will miss my
family because I will leave
just with my father .
my father talking to my Uncle,
how it was the trip
(He Is the you Albara you like differnt but how are you who was the trip so you hungry do you want to go eat first or to go shower you know home Its ok if you will mass your family I will be her for you .)
Albara,
Your poem has a clear voice and builds a strong character. Your formatting is good, and the use of italics effectively signals a transition from narration to dialogue. The use of numbers also gives the reader a better picture of what you are trying to convey. Thanks for your writing. I look forward to reading more of your pieces and learning more of your story.
Dear, Albara I enjoyed reading this! I really liked the use of numbers. It helped emphasize the story.
Hi Albara,
This is a very interesting story. I loved how you painted the picture with your words. The use of numbers is cool too. It was helpful for understanding how things changed over time. I’m sorry you had to leave your family, but I hope you enjoy it here. I would be interested in another poem about your transition.
I think your writing is super unique and interesting to read! The use of italics makes it easier to differentiate between different people speaking and different times, and it adds another layer of dimension to your writing. Good job!
Dear Albara,
I am interested in, satisfied with your introduction because… of the way you say things and how you are actually trying to explain everything.
One thing I learned from your writing that stood out for me is: “Maybe I’m going there, to the U.S.A” I think this is interesting, because how you went from there to here, and how you were feeling while you were coming here, and how things are different from here to where you used to live.
Your writing connects to my own experience. For me, because my parents migrated too, they told me how they felt and I just connected you and my parents so, both of yall had the same experience.
Thanks for your work on Youth Voices. I look forward to seeing what you write next because I want to see how you feel, and how things are going, and how’s life, and how’s school, I want to learn more about you.