Hi Whitney!

I appreciate your openness and honesty when it came to you sharing your coming out story in “Being a woman in love with a woman.” One thing that stood out to me is the fact that people question how you identify. To me, sexuality is fluid — throughout a life time. That is, your feelings that you had to me initially and now were and are valid, respectively. You are the one that knows how you feel best, and how ever you feel the most comfortable labeling yourself I feel should never be put into question. I am sorry that you may feel you have to prove your sexuality to others, but know it does not invalidate actually who you are. However, it does sound that you are comfortable in who you are, and I applaud you for that. Additionally, I am happy to hear that you do have people in your life that you and your girlfriend can be 100% yourselves around. That is so important, where you do not have to filter yourself or think through every move you make. Your story really resonated with me on a few levels. One being that my sexuality has fluctuated almost the opposite as you. In middle school, I experimented with my neighbor (who was a girl). It was always a secret, so my sexuality remained in question and a secret for about 8 years. I struggled coming out as gay, but my attraction to men just kept diminishing and eventually felt completely erased. After I came out as gay, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I solely dated females. 2 years later, I came out as Trans. Now, with a boyfriend, I find myself more attracted to guys than I ever had in the past. I still find a great deal of attraction to identifying females, but this change in fluidity – since coming out as “gay” – has definitely been challenging to explain to others. All in all, thank you for your sharing your story. I felt like I got to know you better and will come back to read more if you ever post again because of your unique story and transparency.

Hey Whitney,

I am so proud of the obstacles that you have faced and accepting who you are. You could have easily hidden who you are due to the fact that your mother left your father but you felt as though your truth needed to be heard.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “I don’t know what changed in me, but there was a point when we started dating where the thought of being intimate with a man made me want to puke.” I remember you sharing this story to us in class and it still cracks me up. The fact that the love between you and your girlfriend made you realize who you really were is amazing. So many say “I am gay as hell” or something of that sort but you’re description of reassurance is so authentic.

Thanks for your sharing your story and I am pretty sure so many people will be inspired by this story and can connect with you on so many different levels.