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    Funny, Nice, Smart, and Friendly!

    My name is Victor. Something important about me is that I'm really funny, nice, smart, and friendly. My family was born in a small country named Ecuador. I lived only in one neighborhood in New York called Sunset Park....

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    • I noticed that there was a lot of redundancy within this writing. It’s important to bring up a topic, explain it, and move on to the next rather than bringing up the same topic again and again. It’s also important to give your sentences more meaning and setting up different structures for each. A lot of your sentences followed the same flow which made this writing a little uninteresting at some parts. I noticed that your structure seemed very similar to your other classmates and would say it is important to be different within your writing. I did like learning about your life however, and hope to read more from you in the future.

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Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License


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