As someone who only knows the perceptions about Brooklyn, the ones formed by the media and movies this is a very intriguing take on the city, Victor. You have greater knowledge than most, being someone who has lived there for 14 years. The way you confirm some preconceived notions makes it clear that Brooklyn isn’t glamorous, but your fondness for the city makes me see how it can be home. Thank you for opening up about the warm and personal topic of home and I can’t wait to read other posts you create!

I noticed that there was a lot of redundancy within this writing. It’s important to bring up a topic, explain it, and move on to the next rather than bringing up the same topic again and again. It’s also important to give your sentences more meaning and setting up different structures for each. A lot of your sentences followed the same flow which made this writing a little uninteresting at some parts. I noticed that your structure seemed very similar to your other classmates and would say it is important to be different within your writing. I did like learning about your life however, and hope to read more from you in the future.