That is a very strong way to start writing about a clear issue on what it is that is happening. Although, I really like how you mention that people are " close minded" because if you would of used " ignorant" it would sound like an insult. I can...

I am impressed by the many ideas, solutions and reasons you gave on this issue. Your letter sounds persuasive but it will be much stronger if you give a personal experience, someone you know. Other than that having mentors who can make workshops on how to deal with stress...

I really like how you identified what a newcomer is and the problem that is alarming them. But you could have said that newcomers should also bond with students that are bilingual, that way our community could be more stronger and stand up for those who are bullies....

Awesome! I believe that this solution will have lots of good benefits for all schools and districts. Your image sends a strong message about social media being the reason why teenagers consider suicide as the only alternative.