You have a good start here, but needs some revision. In terms of the video, try to smooth out your transitions and trim it down to focus on the MOST relevant parts of each clip, Also help your viewers understand how that connects to your ideas by including some text or clips of yourselves to give context to what they are talking about. You have some written captions, but the text does not fit on the screen, so it is hard to understand. You should also introduce WHO each speaker is (that can be in text of your own transitions). Finally, you need to connect your interviews to your solution and clarify what it is. Saying that “law enforcement should have a better relationship with the community” is your end goal, but does not explain what you want to have happen to get them there.

“we think that the law enforcement should have a better relationship with the community” if you have a possible solution you can’t say WE think you need a statement that sounds polarizing to catch the reader’s attention. Explains how this will look like and how i will reduce police brutality, a brief description would help.

I like the fact that you made a video so people can see how African Americans “Blacks” or just people of color feel about the law enforcement. Everybody had different answers but they connected to each other in a way. This was a good start to the problem! I feel like you should write about how the police fears any other race but their own. Talk about how online the black man is considered to be the “Most dangerous”. Do you think this problem could actually be stopped? Talk more on a solution and make it clear to us how it will decrease police brutality .

You had a strong start but it still needs some revision with the grammar and a few spelling errors. your problem was stated clearly but your solution was not that evident and strong. The evidence you had was solid because you got other’s perspective into the topic, just find a connection from your interviews to your evidence maybe that will help it, expand your analysis and you should be set.

The idea is great but their shouldn’t be the word “we think” which make the people think its base on your idea or opinion when it should be in true facts. The video was good getting people idea of different race was great good point.

I think this is a good topic to talk about, because my topic is about Gun Violence and both of this issue it really affects our community and I think we need to step up for others, we can’t just stand there watching them get killed or hurt. I think you have a really good evidence.

You and your group chose to write about an interesting topic, i’m also writing about Police Brutality for my senior project. You should add a couple examples of how many people were abused by the police illegally.