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Your lead hooked me in right away. It makes me want to read on in order to understand what you mean by "wasn't as joyful." It was interesting to learn things about you that I never knew, and I'm excited to learn more! I feel that I could hear...
I love that it isn't just a typical bio. I can really hear your voice through your writing. I was able to learn more about you, while also staying engaged and interested. I like that you didn't just list off facts, and the facts you told me were interesting...