Dear McKayla, this is a great poem.

I especially like the stanza, “Flashbacks in my head renewed

A sleepover in the middle of June

Laughing and playing.

Little did we know the next morning in the street you’d be laying

Lifeless, as blood trickled through your beautiful curly hair that always smelled like coconut oil

And we didn’t know when we were laughing and playing that you’d be buried 6 ft beneath the soil.”

I loved how it rhymed and it left chills on my neck. Great job with this poem, you should make more!

McKayla,

This is a very well written poem. The line in the poem that said “The night grew on and I couldn’t sleep

I couldn’t eat

I am 10 and I always was

When I awake

I am in my room and it was all dream” was very impactful. I look forward to reading your work in the future.

McKayla,
This poem was so powerful! I love how you started with the vivid dream and then it partially came true. How you ended, “Because Starr you are ‘Something to live for and something to die for,'” brought a strong emotion out of me. You exemplified extremely love for someone in just a line. I can’t wait to hear more from you.

This poem is great! I really liked the concept of the butterfly effect that you focused on, I think it is a super cool concept! https://www.americanscientist.org/article/understanding-the-butterfly-effect is a great article that I looked into after reading your poem so that I could have a better understanding. Great work!