Profile Photo

MbathioOffline

  • Mbathio
  • Profile picture of Mbathio

    Mbathio wrote a new post

    Sedative.

    I am from hair brushes and wide-tooth combs ripping my 4c hair into a perfect line I am from Aicha’s house next door to waiting for my turn above the slides at morningside, braving the intimidating stares of kids of all...

    Read More
  • Profile picture of Mbathio

    Mbathio commented on the post, Fresh Earth

    Dear Chloe,
    I am happy with your poem, “Fresh Earth” because you clearly have a lot of love for Prospect Park and all the important events in your life that took place there.
    One line that stands out for me is, “ I made my first friends there”. I think this line is nice because friendships are really important and it’s such a great memory th…Read More

  • Profile picture of Mbathio

    Mbathio commented on the post, What I am made of?

    Dear Ishak,
    I am thrilled with your poem, “What Am I Made Of?” because of your clear faith and knowledge of yourself and who you are in your home town and in a Manhattan.
    One line that stands out for me is, “ I was raised by the Sunset over the Island I am from a view of Manhattan in the West”. I think these lines are powerful because it show…Read More

  • Profile picture of Mbathio

    Mbathio wrote a new post

    Along Manhattan Avenue

    I can still see itabove the yelling and screaming above the locked doors and heavy breathing above the beatings and blood above the intense lectures resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect”I can still see it above the...

    Read More
    9 Comments
    • dear mbathio

      I am amazed by your poem “along Manhattan avenue because of the words and meaning behind this poem.

      one line that stands out for me is “but never higher than God.” this stands out to me because it reminds me of how god is king and nobody is better then him

    • Mbathio I love your poem.My favorite part of the poem is “ above the yelling and screaming

      above the locked doors and heavy breathing

      above the beatings and blood

      above the intense lectures

      resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect””.This is my favorite part because it reminds me of society and how we are always expected to be “perfect “ even though there is no perfect person.

    • Dear Mbathio:
      I am shocked by your poem, “Along Manhattan Avenue,” because of what the meaning of the poem.
      One line that stands out for me is, “resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect””. I think this line is good because of how we are expected to be perfect in this world.
      Another line that stands out for me is, “but never higher than god.”. I think this line is great because it makes me think that no matter what, God is still the best and the one who is on top.
      I look forward to seeing what you make next. I really loved this poem because it made me think about the deeper meaning within every line. I am excited for your next post.

    • Dear Mbathio,
      I enjoyed your poem “Along Manhattan Avenue ,” because it was very true and agreeable.
      One line that stands out for me is, “resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect””. I think this line is very true, we are all expected to be a certain way according to other peoples’ standards.
      Thanks for your poem. I look forward to seeing what you make next. I am looking forward to reading your next interesting and thought-provoking poems.

    • Dear Mbathio, the reason why i chose to reply to your poem is because it stood out to me the most. I can say that everything you wrote i agree because that’s what goes around her in Manhattan (New York in general)

      One stanza that stood out to me the most was “resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect”

      This reminds me of one of my poems because i wrote about how people want you to fit their standard of beauty but never yours, and thats why it stood out to me . I think what you wrote was amazing.

      Great job!!

    • Dear Mbathio,
      I am interested in your poem, “Along Manhattan Avenue,” because I like how the sun was part of the poem and what it represents.
      One line that stands out for me is, “molding yourself into someone elses box labeled ‘perfect’”. I think this line is striking because it is saying that you have to be “perfect” for other people and not be perfect for yourself.
      Another line that stands out for me is, “I see the sun”. I think this line is compelling because even through all the things that are bad and how hard life is, you can still see the sun. I like how you repeated “I can see the sun”, or “I can see it”.
      Your poem is very well written. I like the repetition of your sentences. I like how you said that you can still see the sun but you know that God is still above the sun. This poem stood out to me because of the descriptive language you used.
      Great job on this poem. I’ll look forward to reading more poems like this one.

    • Dear Mbathio,
      I delighted in your lyric “Along Manhattan Avenue,” since it was exceptionally genuine and agreeable. One line that stands out for me is, “resulting in you molding yourself to fit into somebody else’s box labeled “perfect”. I think this line is exceptionally genuine, we are all anticipated to be a certain way concurring to other peoples’ standards. Thanks for your sonnet. I see forward to seeing what you make another. I am looking forward to perusing your another curiously and thought-provoking poem.

    • Dear Mbathio:
      I am inspired by your poem, “ Along Manhattan Avenue ” because I like how you were able to take your poem that you chose in part 1 and make your poem so realistic and heartfelt.

      One set of lines that stood out for me is, “above the yelling and screaming/above the locked doors and heavy breathing/ above the beatings and blood”. I think these lines are powerful because of the way you used sensory description.

      Another line that stands out for me is, “resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect’”. I think this line is impactful because society forces stereotypes on us for what everyone should look like and dress like and act like. Your description is a perfect statement of this enforcement.

      Your poem reminds me of a song that I listen to on the daily. The song describes a person looking in the mirror, analyzing her reflection, and seeing how to change herself. And I feel that this is an exact example of what you’re saying.

      Thanks for your poem. I look forward to seeing what you make next.

    • Dear Mbathio:

      I am Amazed by your poem, “Along Manhattan Avenue,” because I really like how you’ve incorporated the techniques that you saw from your mentor poem and made it your own. I also like how genuine your poem is.

      One line that stands out for me is, “shining bright through the walls of despair”. I think this line is impactful because it reminds me that even when things get tough there’s always hope for better days.

      Another line that stands out for me is, “resulting in you molding yourself to fit into someone’s else’s box labeled “perfect”. This made me think about the pressure society puts on us to be the “ideal” person especially when it comes to our physical appearance.

      Thanks for your poem. I really look forward to seeing what you make next.

  • Load More Posts

Media

Friends

Profile Photo
Kiran
@kiranchaudhuri

Groups

Group logo of Book Club
Book Club
Public Group

Recent Posts

Sedative.

Along Manhattan Avenue

Thus poem has a low informal style. I can tell because of the everyday language

There is a lot of rhythm in this paragraph because of the continuous “above”

I agree Maybe the author was trying to get at Bronx isn’t the dirty way most people see it. There is happiness and men singing and that’s what makes the author feel good and think about often

Is this who the author could hear in the beginning above all else?

I think the author here is talking from personal experience and perspective because this is all really accurate.

Since the trains are so loud especially in certain parts of the Bronx, what was so loud to the speaker in his head? What was the thing that above all else he could hear?

Who can they hear? Why did their actions have such an impact that the speaker can still picture it (assumingely) after all this time?

This was a miscommunication. What they actually meant was that she wasn’t lying about getting raped but she was about who did it

Fonny seems to be going through a really hard time at this point.

It’s sad how much him being in jail impacted him and what they did to him.

Here Daniel is saying they were just convicting him because they had the power to. But he didn’t actually do anything wrong.

I think this is the true definition of “I can’t live without you”

It’s clear that everything going on in Tishs life is impacting her a lot emotionally

I think here Joe is just trying to be protective of her here.

fr

It’s nice that they’re able to embrace eachother and got moments like these before he went to jail

He probably would say something about marrying tish since they talked about that earlier.

glued together meaning being close with each other literally but in a more figurative sense just enjoying each other’s presence in silence.

On top of them getting hit with the fact that they are grown up now, they also realize that there is so much they haven’t done yet

This isn’t really surprising of Ernestine to do because we already know how caring she is, but it’s a bit surprising how quickly she did it without any hesitations

she’s saying this in the sense that her mindset is weak.

Now that everything is up to them I don’t theres as high of a chance of getting Fonny out of jail

Why is “sneering” at her mothers “faith” not okay to her but her mother calling her own grandchild a sin/product of sin okay?

The relationship between Frank and his wife seems really unhealthy. There’s bound to be a separation between them though because Mrs. Hunt has a strong belief in Jesus and Frank doesn’t. That’s a major reason why they seem so divided.

This makes me think that Mrs.Hunt has internalized dislike for Fonny because she is saying that there’s a good side or that it’s almost a good thing for him to be in jail because of sins that he apparently has done before.

It’s interesting that Fonny has a picture of his dad in there

Why is she drinking so much

People *of* color but if you’re referring to just black people you can just say where the black ppl at

Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth Voices. Terms of Service. Privacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

CONTACT US

We welcome new members. You can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Sending
Help on Youth Voices
or

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

or

Create Account