This was a beautiful poem. There was so much meaning and fight in so few words. You have a gift and I hope you continuing writing. I would love to read some more of your pieces. Do you have any tips for writing poetry? I am working on improving mine.
This is so touching. Its so descriptive and really gets your mind and thoughts flowing. I really enjoyed it, definitely a keeper! it makes me wonder what other thoughts you have in your head and It also lets me connect with it very well. It really touched my soul. I enjoyed it! thank you 🙂
your poem is one of the most honest depictions of life and our need for motivation or our need to feel wanted. i can honestly relate to the feelings portrayed by both the picture and the poem. the feeling of lonesomeness and what has led us to that point but what we need to remember in the confusion.
i like the way you describe yourself. by objectifying yourself, you give the reader a sense of disconnect in my opinion. a way where we look and cant help but to see you as larger than yourself. as people take from you we feel a sense of hopelessness that many people might find themselves in.
I really appreciate this poem. I love poetry and I love it even more when there is a distinct writing style that is fluent and also meaningful. Thank you for sharing this because I can gather that from this that you can feel suppressed and I love how you relate this feeling to a pine cone. I love the line you wrote that says “I do not know their intentions as these scales flake away” because when I read that line I interpret it as you don’t know how people will react or how they will treat you once you show them the deeper sides to you; the layer beneath that flaking scales that could invite cruel intentions.
I’m loving your writing style and this piece! It’s a bit confusing to me, for example, when you say “Scolded by my own doing/ I know what has been done/ Yet the eyes are focused outside” it leaves me with a chilling image, but a still very vague idea of what you are saying. This style reminds me a bit of how Sylvia Plath writes sometimes- it’s more about feeling, tone, and image than the actual words. This was beautiful! Thank you!
This piece is very unique, you have a great voice, a little vague though. I liked how you used this description of a pinecone to describe yourself and your own oppression. You have a lot of tone and emotion in your writing which is so strong and beautiful.
I remember the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. theme song, its chorus revolving around my most said mistake
I remember the love that was kept from myself or was never there in the first place
I remember looking towards the clouds.
I think this relates with real life emotions. It’s a very good poem that express a lot of feelings. It also says that we allow ourselves to be consumed by things of little importance, and that’s actually true so it talks about very realistic things.
This is a youth-powered publishing platform that was started in 2003 by a group of teachers from local sites of the National Writing Project.
We merged several earlier blogging projects. We have found that there are many advantages to bringing students together in one site that lives beyond any particular class. It’s easier for individual students to read and write about their own passions, to connect with other students, comment on each other’s work, and create multimedia posts for each other. Further, it’s been exciting for us to pool our knowledge about curriculum, connected learning, and digital literacies.
There are over 8,000 posts and over 13,000 comments by young people on the site on topics as diverse as the American Dream, Shakespeare, and sports as well as original poems and stories.
Youth Voices is a platform for youth to write about their interests, both in school and outside of school: what they are reading, what their hobbies or future careers might be, what they enjoy in their spare time. Like all of us, students follow our national leadership and form opinions. They are also welcome to write about those topics as well.
Youth Voices is fully non-partisan and welcomes youth of all types, from all regions, and with all viewpoints. Educators support youth in writing and thoughtfully responding to each other through the use of commenting guides, using tags to show common interests, playlists to support self-guided inquiry; opinions expressed by writers are their own.
If being part of such a community makes sense to you, we invite you to join us. We welcome all youth and any teacher interested in having students publish online and participate in the give and take of a social network like Youth Voices.