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Khalid commented on the post, Soccer Is Life Right?
Dear bryan i like how your personl life mostly on soccer
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thank you for reading my blog . the part of your comment that stoodout to me was when you incuriged me that it is good
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thank you so much for reading my blog.
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Khalid wrote a new post
On December 13th, I was in my car and somebody hit us when they were running away from the police after robbing the apple store. This made me feel that Oakland is messing up more and more every day. I feel this
Read MoreOn December 13th, I was in my car and somebody hit us when they were running away from the police after robbing the apple store. This made me feel that Oakland is messing up more and more every day....
2 Comments-
Dear Khalid,
To start begin I like how you started off with a story about yourself and then bring in your claim. I like how you added your question and then there answer to show what they are answering. The only you need is a conclusion to make it all come together.
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Khalid wrote a new post
Love is love
Love is visiting my father in the hospital
Love is helping my mom clean the dishes
Love is buying my sister her watch
Love is fighting with my older brother
Love is hugging my sister like s
Read MoreLove is love Love is visiting my father in the hospital Love is helping my mom clean the dishes Love is buying my sister her watch Love is fighting with my older brother Love is hugging my sister like she’s a bear that is...
1 Comment-
Dear Khalid,
Your poem was great. I like how you explained love in different ways and forms. You said love can be visiting your dad in the hospital, helping your mom do dishes, or showing compassion like hugging your sister. I believe your trying to say that love doesn’t just have to be someone having a boyfriend or girlfriend and they have love for eachother , but can be someone like your mom, sister , or dad. I also like how you showed in you poem different ways you express your love for the people you care about. You talking about how you hug your sister is a way you show your love for her. When you explained it you did very well you said ¨Love is hugging my sister like she’s a bear that is chunky, but funny that giggles when you hug¨ that was said very well and a great simile. Overall you did very good.
Great Job,
Jadyn W.
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Dear Khalid,
I was happy to read your blog about violence because I also wrote my blog about violence Oakland and why it happens. Something that I enjoyed from your blog was that you had some evidence that gave good explanations about your topic of violence. A question I have is why did you not include another interview in your blog for evidence? A piece of feedback I have for you is to do your citations so that people know where you got your evidence from and to be more precise in your analysis. Thank you for your writing and I look forward to seeing what you write next.
Sincerely,
Beatriz