she remembers existing
she remembers summer nights and she remembers laughing
she remembers the ocean
Of course, she remembers the sky!
she remembers touch, scent, smell, taste, sight
she remembers those she
This is a really cool poem. Even though it is short and simple, I feel like you really got a strong message across. You didn’t waste any lines, each one made it very clear and vivid how much this meant to you. I like the line about consequences not crossing your mind, that really tied the poem together well. Really good job, keep writing.
The brevity of this poem highlights its true significance: the nonacceptance of Presidential Elect Donald Trump. I liked how you included imagery of a protester that would be in the crowd. The physical images of ” puddles in [ your] shoes” and “a hoarse voice,” allow readers to better sense and image the underlying emotion of the speaker of the poem. A lot of times when we see people discussing Donald Trump and who are opposed to him, they often exhaust themselves in trying to express their opinion. By you simply saying in the last line of your poem ” Trump is many things, but he is not (this word is in bold) my president,” you capture the mindset of many protesters in one short line.
I agree with Lula that the length of the poem speaks volumes because it isn’t filled with the “what ifs'” or “give him a chance” kind of attitude that is shown in our media right now. This is beautiful poem and I love the imagery, I felt like I was a protester in the crowd.
While the main idea of your poem is simply an inaccurate notion, I do believe your poem is very well constructed, concise, and instills vivid imagery as well. While Donald Trump will be your, and every American citizen’s president on January 20th, you capture the essence of a protester in this poem, using words such as “hoarse” and “puddles”.
I like how short and sweet this is. I also really like how you were able to make your point in a very strong way without posing an attack on others who may have the opposite views you do. I also like hie you took s stand in such a strong way without getting into any kind of argument.
This is a very concise and I think it gets your point across. I get the sense that you are very passionate about what you are protesting against. The last line of the poem is very powerful statement and ends the poem perfectly.
I love this poem its short but has lots of meaning and that’s really interesting to me. But one thing I would have liked is that you should have started the poem with ”I want-for president” that would have made the poem a little better to find for me personally. But the fact that you didn’t do that didn’t make it basic,so good work.
Great. Keep your voice strong and never give up. A man like Trump in the office won’t last long. He probably will resign or be impeached due to Russian meddling with his campaign. I honestly don’t see 4 years.
This was a very deep piece of work and I strongly admire that, because I don’t think I would be able to write anything of this caliber. Also, I think that you really captured the essence of the power and size that space has; and also the effects it can have in a person’s mind. The way it can seem almost endless, yet it is also right in front of our faces, is an important part of what you wrote, and probably my favorite part of what you wrote.
Wow. This is a really interesting poem. I liked how you compared your relationship of the person you are addressing to the universe. For example, you said the universe can seem both near and far. This is similar to how sometimes a relationship with someone can feel close, but at other times, it can feel universes away. Sometimes, like at night, the universe seems like it is right in front of you. But at other times, during the bright blue of the day, it can seem like it is far away.
I think this is a beautiful and very relatable poem to those who have relationships-not just romantic ones but friendly and family-like bonds with others. Using the universe in the context of the person you are addressing is clever in that its seems like at time the person can be a universe away.
I agree with Ryan, very deep. It made me ponder the vastness of space. I wish you could see the stars better from my house. When I am out camping i cant help but go into deep thought about what is out there. This reminded me lot of that feeling.
Very interesting poem! I’m going to go on a little tangent here and say that I actually had a dream I had fallen into space! I was launched through at light speed, and after flying through space for what seemed like months or years, it was only when I was caught by an infinite being that I was returned to Earth.
This poem’s construction is very well done. First, the “space” is addressed, it is pondered upon, but then the poem grounds you back on Earth when the author talks about another person hinted at by “us.” It’s a very concise poem, yet it is very tasteful!
I really like this poem, I think it’s so interesting how small we are. It’s crazy to think how many galaxies there are and how small we really are. It might make things hard for us to determine what our purpose in life is (because of how small we are), but I guess that’s why it’s worth it
This was a really incredible poem, something I’ve never really read before. It was incredibly cool to see the description of the relationship of the person and universe. It really portrayed the power of space and the major effect it has on us, and our minds. Its something in our lives that is always changing yet always constant.
Beautiful poem, I think your use of descriptive words fit really well together and help to escalate your poem as a whole. The poem flows well and each thought you provide for us to all question is spaced far enough that we can think each through individual idea.
This is a youth-powered publishing platform that was started in 2003 by a group of teachers from local sites of the National Writing Project.
We merged several earlier blogging projects. We have found that there are many advantages to bringing students together in one site that lives beyond any particular class. It’s easier for individual students to read and write about their own passions, to connect with other students, comment on each other’s work, and create multimedia posts for each other. Further, it’s been exciting for us to pool our knowledge about curriculum, connected learning, and digital literacies.
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