• Back then the crime rate in Oakland was sky high because of Gang Shootings, Fights  and Robberies. But today there is more protection in Oakland because there are more police cars and  there is also more c

    • Dear Jai’Kari,
      Thank you so much for writing this but reading through your paragraph it started to get confusing. A place I started to get confuse was when you started to introduce a quote but your quote ended up being about asking a question to your mom. Some advice for you would be to either write about an interview in one paragraph and then write about article in another. But so far you writing is good and you have a good topic.

    • Hello Jai’Kari,
      Thank you for sharing more about Oakland. I find your topic to be especially important when there are many perspectives about Oakland. Having your mom share her personal experience of what Oakland was like and the changes made brings knowledge and recognition on what works, what doesn’t work and the resources that make a difference in you community. I agree with Esmeralda and would like to know more about this topic. I would encourage you to keep writing about it.

  • Why do people hate ?

    A lot things that go on in your neighborhood

    A lot of people have passed away

    due to conflict.

     a lot of people that are enemies.

    your only there to observe it with your own eyes.

    If

    • dear jaikari,
      thankyou so much for sharing your poetry, a line that stood out to me was ´´You have to put it into your own perspective.¨ i connect to your poem because I know sometimes you have to go through things alone. I thought you have a lot of courage posting a poem like this and i think this is really good. thankyou so much for writing this poem and I look forward to reading your other posts.

      Zane

    • Dear, Ja’kari
      I am amazed by your poem. “Why do people hate?” because it talks about things that are real and I feel a lot of people can relate to.As well some of the metaphors you use like the snake one.One part of your poem that stands out for me is where you talk about other people and like what they say.I think this is interesting because it’s true in some people’s lives and some not.Another reason why is because its talking about something that is real and I feel I can relate to it in a way.Another part I liked is where well just the whole poem in general because although its controversial your giving your own opinion.As well, you give your perspective and that is very important in a poem.

      Thanks for your poem I look forward to seeing what you do next because your poems are good and you talk about real things like i’ve said and in a way me personally I can relate.As well it’s just good over all.

  • I like how you presented your shadow box. The way that you represented yourself was really detailed also I like the way you represented your life.

  •  

     

    Hook
    Who am I?

    Background Info
    I like to walk around I like wearing black clothing.

    Thesis
    Based on my life experience, I feel that the 3 parts of my identity that have affected my life the most i

    • Dear Jai’kari, your shadowbox interests me. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me was when you wrote that you’re not really athletic but that doesn’t make you less of a man. It stands out to me because it’s true that you don’t have to be athletic to be a man. I agree with it a lot.

    • Dear Jai’kari,

      Thank you for your beautiful prose of who you are in this shadowbox.

      I really loved that you embrace who you are as an individual with an identity of being African American. I find that individuals who are confident in who they are, especially in their identity tend to blossom and strive in their future endeavors because of the confident that is instilled in you. I also enjoyed the fact that you said that just because you are male, people view you as strong and tall. Yet, you countered that and embraced that it does not make you less of a man or at least human.

      I hope you continue to keep writing beautiful prose about who you are and that you are not afraid to let yourself be heard in defying the odds. 🙂

      Warmly,
      LT

    • Dear Jai’kari, The characteristics in your shadowbox all make you who you are and I enjoyed how you presented each characteristic. Your first characteristic interested me with the way you described being a man doesn’t mean you have to be athletic, tall and strong. I found it interesting that you used real stereotypes of men and described yourself as no less of a man just because your not that tall and strong.
      – Elysia V. #SJSU

  • Jai'kari became a registered member 1 year ago

    • Dear Jai’kari,

      I am super fascinated on your work because you showed what you love doing and showed what you mostly do in your life which is awesome. I think that it is cool that you show 3 things that you love doing. One thing I am confused about is what are some things that you identify as like ethnicity.

CC BY-SA 4.0 Jai'kari by is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

Youth Voices is an open publishing platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.

CC BY-SA 4.0All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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