My name is Tayeshaun Campbell and I am a student at Fremont High School here in Oakland. I just read your project blog post and I have some feedback.
One thing I liked about what you wrote was how that you are kids trying to make a change in the world by trying to stop gun violence. Also what I liked about this is how well it was put together and how well it was written.
Something I have a question about is why do you really wanna stop gun violence and what made you pick this subject.
I really like this topic you chose to write about because in our school a fight had just happened involving gangs but luckily no guns were involved. But I do agree on how there should be better security to keep students safe. Police should respond faster even if there is not major danger. Will anyone do something about students safety on every school existing?
My name is Dante from Oakland Unity High School and what I liked about this article was how you guys brought up connections from the past shootings in schools so you can give us more emotional feeling to your article. Also who is this article written to?
My name is Jeff and I am from Oakland Unity High School I liked that you have many other sources that had stories involving gun violence. A question I have is who are you writing to, and also if you need to practice drills you should talk to your school principal about that ?
I agree but, what if the school shooter was a latino or arabic kid the U.S would had changed so many gun laws and would make a deal about for more than 3 months but because its always a white kid they never change the guns laws just like the laws in Florida you can be 18 years old and walk in a gun shop and purchase a AR-15 but you have to be 21 to buy a pistol which makes zero sense.
I really like you writing it was amazing. Something that stood out to me was “Short people should realize that WE are lucky to be small and short that we can do things that other people can’t do”, I agree with you because i’m short and I like the way i am and yes there’s things that short people can do that tall people can’t d…[Read more]
I am surprised by your post because you tell a lot of details about your name. One sentence that stood out to me ” Luis reminds me of my everyday activities, my past and future”. I like this sentence because it seems like that what keeps you motivated. Another sentence I like is “With my last names is where my story is kind of…[Read more]
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “if not supported coming out can be traumatic for LGBTQ youth and can lead to depression” . I think this is true because not a lot of kids that are part of LGBTQ want to come out because they are scared for what the people from the outside would say about them. I agree with you tha…[Read more]
I like what you wrote in your blog you put in so much detail on how Oakland changed with the people you interviewed and the research you also did. One sentence that stands out for me is “Oakland is really dangerous especially in certain places more than others. You can’t just roam around the streets and be sure no harm will be don…[Read more]
Dear Erika, I am amazed by your work it really shows how you’ve grown as a writer. I like the point that you brought up about the violence rates going down. I think you did good in choosing this topic because people need to know that this community is getting safer. Something that stood out to me was the line “The rates of this crimes it’s decreasing and it’s better for people to feel more safe around their community. Why would the rates would go down?” This line is very interesting to me because I can tell you want the community to be safer and the question you asked made your writing stronger by moving into giving the reader answers. I really enjoyed reading your work I hope you keep publishing. Sincerely, Liz
I am amazed by your writing because it shows that you have grown as a writer. One sentence in the writing that stood out for me is “Violent crime in Oakland down 23 percent since 2012”. That stood out to me because 23% is a lot of crime that went away. Its showing that our community is actually making a change to help the people of Oakland feel safer. Another sentence that stood out to me is “violence the community is losing more jobs and kids not going to school”. That stood out to me because its telling people who read this that violence is making the community worse because kids aren’t getting their education and people are losing jobs and not making money to support them or their family. Thanks for writing this, I look forward to seeing what you write next.
I like that you are writing about Oakland crime rates, and how gentrification may be a key factor in causing them to decrease. I am more interested in how these barriers may personally affect you. For example, have you seen any actions of gentrification?
I am so surprised about you post “My views of Oakland” because it shows how you really know your community on oakland I like that you are writing about Oakland crime rates, and how gentrification may be a key factor in causing the community to decrease. Something i like about what you wrote on your post is when you said “ The community and Oakland have changed because there are new people living around the community. Because of gentrification people are moving into new houses”. I agree with you because i’ve seen it myself and we live close and I know what youre talking about and I like how you talking about oakland and the community.Another thing that amazed me about you post was when you said “violence the community is losing more jobs and kids not going to school”. This stood out to me because of violence the community kids aren’t getting their education and because maybe there scared.
This article is good! I agree with you on how everyone is good and bad, but every person is good in their own way. Something that stood out for me is when you said “In my opinion there’s no one way this can be an accurate definition” what are you trying to say is how there is no right or wrong answer for people to u…[Read more]
Hey there I’m Jordan, a senior from Fremont High School and I really enjoyed your shadow box project because it had a lot of things that I enjoy myself such as the picture of the Oakland Raiders and the picture of the slate because I’m a big fan of various movies. I just have a couple of questions about your shadow box project
1.Who or what gave you your love for sports?
2.Who or what gave you your love for the Oakland Raiders?
3.Who or what gave you your love for movies?
Erika, I really liked your shadows box because you added things that mattered to you like pictures of your family and friends. I also like how you explained your dominant and counter narrative. When you said that people assume that you are weak and can’t play sports, I really liked that because you then explained that’s not true and you don’t believe what society says. Overall I really liked your box and how you organized it and I got to learn new things about you.
Dear Erika,Thank you for sharing your work.My name is Cristian and I am a student at Fremont High School.Something I liked about your work was how you included things that are important to u and that make up your identity.Something I have a question about is what is your favorite movie that’s connects to you. Please feel free to comment on my work in the future. The address of my student blog is http://cristianfhs2021.edublogs.org/.
Thank you for sharing your work. My name is Keon and I am a student at Fremont High School.
Something I liked about your work was how you describe how you fought against the dominant narrative.
Something I have a question about is what is your favorite sport. Please feel free to comment on my work in the future. The address of my student blog is http://keonsfhs2021.edublogs.org.
Im student at life academy. I agree with you how the stereotypes from the people outside expect from a women and a female. This happens a lot to latina girls because that´s how man expect from women and to do more things for them like you said cook them food and your have to be pretty for the people from outside. Do u think this…[Read more]
Thank you for sharing your work. My name is sharifa and I am a student at Fremont High School.
Something I liked about your work was how you explain your work and what’s important to you and your identity.
Something I have a question about is what is your favorite animal. Please feel free to comment on my work in the future. The…[Read more]
This is a youth-powered social network that was started in 2003 by a group of teachers from local sites of the National Writing Project.
We merged several earlier blogging projects. We have found that there are many advantages to bringing students together in one site that lives beyond any particular class. It's easier for individual students to read and write about their own passions, to connect with other students, comment on each other's work, and create multimedia posts for each other. Further, it's been exciting for us to pool our knowledge about curriculum, connected learning, and digital literacies.
If being part of such a community makes sense to you, we invite you to join us. We welcome all youth and any teacher interested in having students publish online and participate in the give and take of a social network like Youth Voices.