• Carla commented on the post, Drama Queens 2 years, 10 months ago

    hey there elliot,
    this is a cool poem you have here i would like to know where your ideas for this poem originated but this poem is very unique !

  • Kiran and Profile picture of CarlaCarla are now friends 2 years, 10 months ago

  • Elliot and Profile picture of CarlaCarla are now friends 2 years, 10 months ago

  • The ocean crashes
    Above me washing away
    Stuffing me back in the sand again
    People dig for me and collect
    Explore my different colors and textures
    My sharp bristles that curve in a spiral
    My matte and shiny

    • i like the way you describe yourself. by objectifying yourself, you give the reader a sense of disconnect in my opinion. a way where we look and cant help but to see you as larger than yourself. as people take from you we feel a sense of hopelessness that many people might find themselves in.

    • Carla-
      I really enjoyed your poem. The imagery you used was fantastic, it’s very easy to imagine the scene you describe in your poem. Your line “Explore my different colors and textures” is especially captivating.

    • I really enjoyed this poem. I read other poems with the same topic. However, they used first poem as per usual. You didn’t and instead showed that you were the shell. It caught my attention right from the beginning.

  •  

    I am from busy streets,

    and crowded trains.

    From hot days and palm trees

    From hours on a laptop screen

    I am from nacho sundays

    From amens and dear lord

    From grandfather’s college stories  

    I am fro

    • Hi Carla! I love how you name all the things that are very close to your heart, and make you happy. This poem gives the reader a better idea of who you are as an individual and its great. What would make this poem even better is if you were to use more descriptive language and imagery to really evoke the readers imagination. I want to see what you love exactly the way you see it.

  • i agree …. with your opinion

CC BY-SA 4.0 Carla by is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

Youth Voices is an open publishing platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.

CC BY-SA 4.0All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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