I am amazed by your blog “Oakland Violence” because it talks about real things in Oakland. You also mention real stories for example the one about Mario and that really adds to your blog because its a perspective that like they have first hand experience in the things that go on in Oakland.
One sentence that you wrote that stands out for me is : “Another way to get rid of violence because of gangs is having more programs in schools. For example, it can be a job in the library, it can be swimming classes, also it can be a football team. Or, a place where the young people can be distracted and they don’t have to be in the streets involved in gangs and doing bad things.” This stood out for me because you are giving great examples and if someone who can create a change read this they can make it happen.
Another sentence that I liked was “In conclusion, to decrease the violence in Oakland that are caused by gangs and fights for young people Oakland needs more programs and police in parks. Let’s make the change for a better Oakland.” This stood out for me because its at the end and it’s like very inspiring and it’s a great way to end it off.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next , because your writing is good and very interesting and to be honest me personally I really like it.Also for the reason that you use real examples and different perspectives.
Dear Brian :
I agree with a lot of what your article, “Oakland Violence” says, because… it shows us the harsh realities that some cities in America endure. I also think our cities should actively attempt to give these troubled people a way out of the life or violence.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Another way to get rid of violence because of gangs is having more programs in schools. For example, it can be a job in the library, it can be swimming classes, also it can be a football team.” I think this is a great suggestion because… it should lessen the amount of kids that end up in gangs.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because… I find these types of subjects really interesting. I also like that you used a person you knew in your life that had these sorts of experiences.
This piece is very informative. Great job providing specific examples and stories to showcase solutions to Oakland violence. I love the idea of young gang members finding jobs and joining sports teams to keep them off the streets. In addition, programs like LMB and Joven Noble seem very successful. Here is a link to the website of Father Gregory Boyle, a catholic priest, who has founded an organization to help gang members lead good lives.
Brian, I thought your article posed a lot of great ideas that definitely need to be heard. I thought your stories that included first hand experience with Oakland were fascinating. I enjoyed how you tried to make schools safer and propose new ideas that may serve as a compromise to both sides of gun control. I thought your suggestion for kids to become more involved in after school activities was very interesting. Here is an article you might like https://youth.gov/feature-article/gang-prevention-overview-research-and-programs . It discusses why kids join gangs and how to prevent that from happening. Let me know what you think! Do you think kids join gangs because of peer pressure.
I am very satisfied with your work , with your images , because it show us who you are and how much you are proud of your identities , one thing that i like it about your letter is how you explain very well and i think it is very clearly . thanks for your writing
Thank you for sharing your work. My name is Jose Valencia and I am a student at Fremont High School.
Something I liked about your work was that I like the way you explained your objects and I like the objects you put on your shadow box. Keep up that good work. Please feel free to comment on my work in the future.
I like how you explained each of your objects, I also liked it a lot because I think you put objects with which you identify, I think you did a good job with your shadow box because in truth you look that you identify where you are and who you are.
This is a youth-powered social network that was started in 2003 by a group of teachers from local sites of the National Writing Project.
We merged several earlier blogging projects. We have found that there are many advantages to bringing students together in one site that lives beyond any particular class. It's easier for individual students to read and write about their own passions, to connect with other students, comment on each other's work, and create multimedia posts for each other. Further, it's been exciting for us to pool our knowledge about curriculum, connected learning, and digital literacies.
If being part of such a community makes sense to you, we invite you to join us. We welcome all youth and any teacher interested in having students publish online and participate in the give and take of a social network like Youth Voices.