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BriantOffline

  • bavilesmotino
  • Brooklyn, New York, USA
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    Twenty people were shuffling next to a river. It was twilight, and the water was loud when a boat glided across the river. In the boat, there were none of my family members, but there were five other people that

    Crossing The River

    Twenty people were shuffling next to a river. It was twilight, and the water was loud when a boat glided across the river. In the boat, there were none of my family members, but there were five other people...

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    • Hello, Briant
      I am very impressed of your post, “Crossing The River” because, you shows the denarius decision of your life. I also feel you, because your story it’s can be similar to my story.
      one sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “When me and some kids that were in the house arrived, my mother was outside the airport waiting for me, and when I went out of the airport, I saw her and I hugged her tightly and started crying.” I think this is touching because, I can imagine how it’s hard. Honestly I learned a lot of your personality.
      This remind me of an experience I had once, when I escaped Yemen after the Civil War start. I think my journey was safe, because I am a legitimate immigrant, but it was more dangerous because we were crossing a Sea.
      Thanks for your writing I look forward to seeing what you write next, because telling your personal story or show a moment of your story it really shows your personality.

    • Dear Briant:
      I am Erick, I wanted to tell you that you wrote an excellent story about how you came to the United States as a step as you felt at the time “ Crossing The River,” because Your story is very good because as you tell it as how it happened because there were 20 people who were in that boat and it is a lot of weight for a boat.

      One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is that when you say that in Honduras you were at home watching television and listening to sticks everywhere I think this is true because the same thing happened in my country in El Salvador you were in your house very quiet and it restrains you eight shots everywhere.

      This reminds me of an experience I had once that you were on the soccer field and other people were playing soccer, and two men came out firing from other people and we had to run to the house and the sounds could be heard.

      Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because We have similar stories from our countries and I think this story is perfect.

    • Dear Briant,

      I am touched by your story, “Crossing the River,” because even though I knew that you had to immigrate alone at a young age, I didn’t really understand until I heard the story from you.

      One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “Often, I would see them fighting with bats in abandoned houses across from the park where we were playing.” I think this is really good setting description because the details support the central message of your story: Honduras was too dangerous to stay in.

      Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I think you are an incredible writer! And I bet you have lots of stories to tell. Thank you so much for sharing.

      Ms. Bauso

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Crossing The River

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