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AvaOffline

  • awaaswilliams24
  • I like how you made a lot of historical connections the grammar and structure is clear and is short and pretty well written it could’ve included more information or elaboration with examples and quotes.

  • Aaron G I like how you structured your paragraphs and the title of them in the 2nd paragraph its nice that you described the city map and the difference between the two sides and how the buildings look. I haven’t seen anyone use an observation of the map as an example. Your observation strengthens your point.

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    Marcus, I like how your intro starts off talking about overcoming environmental limitations and how it connects to how there can be change and what people can strive for to change based on their first-hand experience. you bring up how this issue shows racism in the system and their value for the progress of certain communities at the expense of others.

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    Ava commented on the post, It’s In the Concrete

    Leah I really like the title and photo. i like that you brought up redlining and its connection to this topic and how they avoided funding areas they considered risky it really shows their disregard for certain communities and the elevation of them.

  • akina, the picture first caught my eye along with your intro. your first paragraph gets straight to the topic and is written clearly and concisely I like that you bring up the impact of urban planners and marta. it is also nice that you included information on what individuals can do to address and change these things.

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Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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