My name is fahar and I am a student at Fremont High School here in Oakland. I just read your project blog post and I have some feedback.
One thing I liked about what you wrote was that you used good detail and you supported your claim with good evidence. And i also like how you talked about how the issue has gotten worse over a long period of time
Something I have a question about is what do you think about this .
Thank you for reading our post we really appreciate it. Thank you for the feedback that you gave us.
To your question honestly what I think about this topic is that it is wrong because not only the person drinking and driving is getting hurt, but the people around them are also getting hurt. Itś selfish in general because when there is someone is drinking and driving, they make the choice to put themselves in danger by driving and the people around them too. This also increases the deaths, and accidents going all around the world.
I think what made this article very powerful and influential is that you give a lot of accurate and precise evidence.One thing I would change is that we want more of your opinion and also that you have to dive in more deep in the topic.
My name is Miriam. What I liked about your post is that you’re talking about things that need to change.I also like how you’re doing info meetings about drinking and driving. One question, why did you decide to write about this?
My name is LaDaysha and I think this is a great and important topic that should be address better.I think that you should go into more detail about your plan.A question I have is how do you think the best way to stop this madness?.I like the fact you added statics and data.
Hello my name is Norberto Something that i like about this blog was that the author gives a lot of evidence and explained it really good I also like how you are doing information meetings a question that I have for you is that why did you decide to write about this?
My name is Jeff and I am from Oakland Unity High School something I liked about this article is how you put many statistics about the deaths of drunk driving. A question I have is do you think only parents are affected by drunk driving or other ages to ?
My name is Dante and I am from Oakland Unity High, I like this article because it is very powerful, I also liked how you wrote a lot about this topic so you can get this message out to everyone. I want to ask a question and want to know if it’s okay, has something like this happen to you before with a family or friend?
Elizabeth, Melany, and Ying,
I totally agree with your thesis statement. Middle school plays a huge part of a person’s life. A kid becomes a teenager. They hit a time in their life where everything is changing. Some examples are; appearance, voice, and even friends. Most kids go through a phase of not knowing who they are. When these kids go to any social media platform they see influencers that look like they have the perfect life and try to copy them. They stop trying to be different and unique and try to change their life and appearance to look perfect. Which does not help self love they don’t like who they are and they think they can become a whole new different “perfect” person. I think it’s part of a teachers job is to help their students not only grow intelligence but to help them grow as people.
My name is Crystal and I am a student at Fremont High School here in Oakland. I just read your project blog post and I have some feedback.
One thing I liked about what you wrote was you guys are talking about the prison and how it makes us look bad. You guys want to help out which is good and i liked that you were specific on the problem and everything. The thing you guys talk about is true and i agree there should be a change.
We are so thrilled you took your time to read our proposal, and we are so thrilled that you agree there is a problem. There of course should be a change because it’s not fair about how much prisons, the court systems, and the justice system have unfair processes. For example, why are there black and brown people in prison more than white people? We want to stand up for prisoners who don’t deserve to be treated as they are treated because they are still humans (which we born with rights). Anyway thanks for reading our proposal and check out our instagram please! @prisonequality !
Dear Erica H,
We’re really happy you decided to read our proposal for a change in prisons. So for your question, “Would you like judges to enforce laws or regulations around the management of prisons and the care of prisoners? “ , we do in fact want an enforced law and regulations for prisoners care. In the law we are thinking about a person coming to a prison and inspecting it, meaning the prisoners get a chance to talk to someone if they’re being unfairly treated and then an investigation would occur. You know how there is jury duty where a person sits in the court and helps make a decision, well we want the same “duty” to happen for these prison checks. The other question you had was, “ what you would like people to do once you have rallied them to your cause? What comes after that to enact lasting change? “ , After we have people rallied to our cause we want to make a point that a majority of people want what we want as well. It isn’t for sure that, let’s say a court, would listen to us but as said we’ll have a bunch of people ready to fight on with us. To enact lasting change, that’s where our law comes in because it would be staying trust me, or any abuse we’d recieve from officials (like un black lives matter marches). We’d make a longing impact because of how far we’d succeed. Lastly, on some of your confusion we want the court system to just make a change. This does mean wrongly convicting people, being biased, digging deep in a case earlier on, have engaged judges, and to listen to every which way of a story before choosing. Thank you for reading our proposal and I hope you read more of my work and Joana and Kimberly’s work as well.
My name is Cristian and I am a student at Fremont High School here in Oakland. I just read your project blog post and I have some feedback.
One thing I liked about what you wrote was the you guys explain the issue,another thing i liked was how u gave info about the problem.
Something I have a question about is how u chose to talk about this topic.
Hi! Im Paul from Unity High in Oakland CA. I read your post thingie and i have a couple things to say.
First of all, I love how you targeted Middle school teachers to take a stand for their students because yes, its true that they have the most power in the person we grow up to be.
I do have a question though. While knowing to love your own body is important during middle school years because it builds self esteem, is it really okay? Here in america, the number one killer is obesity which usually stems from ones childhood. I find it sad that there are kids dying so young because of this, so to what extent is loving ones body like not exactly fat shaming but also not exactly promoting obesity?
I loved how you talk about middle school the earliest year for girls and boys start thinking about shamming their own body and thinking they aren’t worth nothing compared to others on social media who have beautiful body/face. One question would it even be possible to help middle school girls and boys to love their self if their so stubborn and not fully capable to fully understand their own self? What if teachers do try to help the little ones to love their self but they lie to the teachers saying they are fine when they aren’t ? Could it possibly work?
Hi! I’m Imani from Unity High which is in Oakland, California.
I loved, appreciated, and related to your post. As a teenage girl, I can say that students are truly affected during middle school and can change completely. Middle school is a life changing experience where students learn more about themselves as they grow. A thing that truly stood out to me is how you focused in on middle school teachers who can help encourage students and stand up for them. Which I find true because they are huge influences in their students’ lives and are able to do so much with just a few encouraging words.
Thank you for taking the time to write about this important issue!
Thanks for your writing. My history class is currently learning about the holocaust, however we didn’t focus much on human experimentation done by Nazis, so your article was helpful in understanding other inhumane things done on Jewish people.
I just wanted to say you had a great post about the Nazi experiments but you had some errors. I was really amazed by your post it was just really breathtaking and touching. Hope you keep publishing more awesome work like this.
Your blog post is very good, it has a lot of details which makes the reader understand a lot about the holocaust and a lot about the human experimentations. It can be very helpful to read these things for people who dont know which is why all the detail would be great. Something I liked about your blog was your analysis, your analysis was really good and didnt just summarize the quote but you actually typed why its important how it connects to to other things which is great. But overall your blog was really good.
Dear Manuel ,
You have such a great writing voice ! I enjoyed reading your post on Nazi experimentations. I find It super interesting how all of experiments were done without consent and without any reasoning A question I would like to ask you is , do you believe that these experiments were ethical ? You talked about how it was unfair & unjust but is it ethical?
Thank you for your writing! I look Forward to reading your other posts !
I love everything about what you wrote because it is true. It also explains the what the nazi’s did what they were doing their actions for. You state “The nazi’s contucted painful and deadly experiments on thousands of concentration camps prisoners without their consent” this is a good piece of evidence because it talks about how they did things without permission. And they put their prisoners in concentration camps. You don’t need to fix anything because there is no source of error and what you wrote is really good, detailed, and explainable.
David Reimer was born as Bruce Reimer in 1965 as male. Both David and his twin brother, Brian Reimer, each had a minor medical problem involving their penis, called phimosis. A doctor wanted to treat their issue
I was amazed by your blog! I love how you gave a short and detailed summary of each principle of bio ethnics. I also really liked how you started off your blog with a quote in the beginning and really engaging with your audience. Also I really liked how you not just included Nazi experiment research but also about Tuskegee, really good connections. I also agree with you that the Nazi experiments were unethical and cruel because they basically tortured people. I look forward on what you write next!
Your post was very detailed and talked about alot of important topics in our history which was so cool how you incorporated all of that. I also liked how you includes the principles of bioethics that was super helpful to better understand the aspect of ethics revolving around ethics. You gave me a leds while reading this and a clear view of what is meant to be stated in this important piece of writing! Can’t wait to see what you write next.
Thank you for reading my work and for the nice comments. I made sure to have detail so my argument could be defended so thank you for noticing. Also I am happy you like that I included the bioethics because I almost didn’t so thanks :). And omg important piece of writing? You’re great. Here’s a question for you, Do you think ethics should be entwined with science?
I am shocked about what you wrote about because many victims was apart of the experiment that the Nazi did. And it’s very sad that the had to go through all that pain because it must have been really painful and brutal. One sentence you wrote that stands out to me was “Of course there is a possibility that from those experiments there is great data possible to find cures from diseases but the fact is, it could’ve been taken forcefully. In Nazi experimentation, many people died from those experiments for the sake of data.” This that you wrote stood out to me because the data can be useful because it can be used as data that help cure diseases but at the same time many people die from those experiments for the sake of data. Thank you for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write, next because your writing is very interesting and detail about what your opinion.
Thank you so much for commenting on my post. I am really happy you took your time to read it. For the sentence that stood out to you, I’m happy you took notice to it because it was one of the claims of my argument. It’s an important sentence. Also I am really happy you agree with my overall argument. But my question for you is, What’s your opinion on all human experimentation? Anyway thank you and please keep reading my work!
To begin, have you ever heard about the Nazi research? Well if not let me tell you a little about it. But the question that I would be talking about is are the data that is from the Nazi medical experiments
I am interested in your blog post because the experiments the Nazi did were really cruel and not a lot of people are aware of what they did.Your question really stood out to me because it was really specific.
Thank you for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because your writing is interesting.
Reading your work, I was overcome with sadness. The Nazi experiments are a hard and saddening topic but it’s pleasing to know that you went into it. I love this topic to be honest. One sentence that you wrote that stood out to me was, “She after got into a hospital and was examined that her uterus has become a 4 year old child and that her ovaries has shrunk.The victims that were tested were all Jewish the people that were testing on them had no respect for the person because they were able to feel the brutal experiments they did to them.”, This quote stood out to me because I can’t believe the Nazi doctors did that, it’s terrible. It also stood out to me because I definitely agree with what you said after about there being no Autonomy. Another sentence that stood out to me was, “He was able to get funding for the experiment. I believe he wasn’t doing any good for anything because he put the twins in desperate pain.”. This quote made me very aggravated because I can’t believe someone would fund for that. I wish there were people then in Germany that could’ve stepped up to this. The the second sentence caught my eye because I agree with you. Yet I do not completely agree with this sentence stating, “Which I believe this wasn’t fair because people should have a saying if they wanted to be in the experiment but they weren’t.”. I do agree that people should have a say if they want to join an experiment or not, but concerning the Nazi experiments, I feel that no one should’ve joined those experiments. The experiments they conducted were so terrible no one should’ve taken part of that. Thank you for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because your work is agreeable. I really appreciate getting a chance to read your work. If you’d like please reply.
I was really amazed by your blog about Nazi experimentations on humans. I really liked how you engaged with the audience by asking questions that they could later answer to. I’m shocked what Nazi did to humans because before I didn’t know about this so I was informed after reading your blog. I agree with you that the experiments that the Nazis commited were cruel and unethical. I look forward to see what you write next!
Your post topic was very interesting! Even though it was a very tramatic event in our history I found it very interesting read about these experiments that were done. But along with that thought it was very sad to know that they were treated that way in fact a line that stuck out to me the most was, “ He did blood transfusion from one twin to another which he wasn’t trying to minimize harm he was causing more harm for the twins.” That line stood out to me because wow they did that to innocent children to get information about it? I wonder if they knew what they were doing like the harm they were causing? But this was a great post! One of the most interesting I have read anyways, Keep writing very good. Have a good day
I appreciate you commenting and reading my blog. To answer your question you asked me I believe that they didn’t know what they were doing because they just kept the experiments going until it was forced to stop. But what do you think.
I am amazed by Your post because some of the quotes you writing is was really cool. I like the way that you shows that how bad is Oakland and how is this affecting others. One of the sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “if a person lives in the hills they are most likely to have less crime/violence and it will also be a very calm area from what I have seen and heard from others”. I think this is a good sentence because it shows that how bad is Oakland is and how can this affect people. Another sentence that I was amazed by is “However, down in the flats there is more crime/violence and it is not calming like the hills. I know that it is not calm or a nice area to cruise around because I live in the flats and have experienced some violence; like gun violence”. This stood out for me because it sounds cool and the ways you said living in hills is like living in Oakland.
Thanks for your writing . I look forward to seeing what you write next, because like the bolg you writer and all the quotes you use in this bolg.
Thank you for sharing your work . My name is Ahmed and I am a student at Fremont High school. Something I like about your work is you wrote about Oakland and you want to let people know that violence should stop. Something that I have a question about is Why write only about Oakland CA. Please feel free to comment on my work in the future. The address to mu student blog is http://ahmedmfhs2022.edublogs.org/ .
Your passion and care for Oakland is truly amazing. You had great quotes that proved how and why Oakland was dangerous and your evidence surely backed up your claim. I really look forward to reading more of your writing soon!
“28 percent of the people that are kicked out of their home make $30,000 yearly” (Allen-Price). This shows that people can’t often do anything about gentrification because of the low money that they make and they
“Nearly half (49%) of all students reported feeling ‘a great deal of stress’ on a daily basis and 31 percent reported feeling somewhat stressed. Females reported significantly higher levels of stress than males
I am glad you chose to write about such an interesting topic. The way you choose to write about how kids are stressing to better their future is a great way to engage a young reader who shows similarities to your topic One sentence that stood out to me is “Furthermore, students also have stress because so much of their day is spent in a classroom. I wanted to find out more about what is actually going on inside a classroom, so I decided to interview a middle school/high school teacher, Eva Oliver”. I was really excited to see what Eva would have to say coming from that she is a teacher. I also trust her opinions very much and that kept me interested in your work. Thanks for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next.
Dear Kayla, thank you for commenting on my post, I really appreciate it. I am glad that you found my post interesting and I will do my best to do the same on my future posts. Thank you again, until next time, Brandom.
Thank you for sharing your work.My name is Juan and I am a student at Fremont high school.Something I liked about your work was you provided a lot of information about the topic.Also the fact that you also provided your sources was cool.Something I have a question about is how long did it take you to type all of that and find the information?Please feel free to comment on my work in the future.The address of my student blog is http://juanrfhs2021.edublogs.org/
Dear Juan, thank you for commenting on my post, I am so happy. I am glad that you liked my post and I will do more interesting things like this in my future posts. To answer your question, it took about 3 weeks at the very least. I will also look at what you have in store in your student blog and comment on it. Thank you again, until next time, Brandom.
I feel that it depends on who you have as a parent or the teachers you have. i think that people need to take responsible to take action and ask question on what you might have done wrong and take that and learn from it.
I am impressed by your post,¨Violence and Crime in the Oakland Community¨ because my post is also about Oakland and I wanted to know someone else a opinion that lives in Oakland. Plus your semes way better than my opinion.
One sentence that you wrote that stands out to me is:¨Oakland community needs to be a place that is safe and were all apart of the crimes of what people choose to do because we all want to be in a place where we don’t want to worry about getting killed.¨ I thinks this is great because people should not worry about their safety. Also people want their kids to have a safe place to walk and not get worried about them walking alone.
Another sentence that I like was:¨How has violence and crimes affected the Oakland community?¨ I like this question because people don’t really ask this question, so bringing it out the shadow is great. Also this question really got me going.
Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time my phone died and I didnt have any money so I couldn’t call my parents and get bus. Ii was dark and I had to walk about 30 blocks. So went walking at 6:30 and I got home safe but my parents were worrying and I got grounded because of that.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because your post got me thinking. Also I like your post because I can tell you really put effort.
Thank you for commenting on my post. It’s very cool that you were able to relate to and to see someone’s point of view of what they think about violence. I agreed with what you said because the Oakland community can be very dangerous at times. Which this can make people have a hard time feeling safe in the community and I totally understand how you feel when you connected with my blog. We all want to be safe in the community and we all want to feel like we are in a better place and a place where we feel like it’s safe of where we live. Thank you for taking your time to read my blog.
Dear Ying: Violence and Crime in the Oakland Community
I really enjoyed your blog. It explains a lot about Oakland and how the communities are danger to be roaming around. I have a couple questions for your blog, when you say communities do you mean every communities in Oakland or sortan parts of Oakland? Also I support what your ideas and argument. I would like to argue back, since people from San Francisco has moved to Oakland. More peaceful people are coming in the Oakland communities. I feel like there will be less violences in Oakland since gentrification is kicking in Oakland. All the bad people who cause trouble in the communities with have to leave, that means it will be peace. I live in the 60s and there used to be a lot of shooting and thieves, I have experiences my cars getting stolen outside my house and my neighbors house getting broken into. Now days you don’t see that in my neighborhood no more, because there are a bunch of people who walk their dogs in the morning and ride their bike or take jogs around there. People are around my street walking like it was a nice place to walk around, they dont see no danger in my community, because there are new people who are nice to their neighbors and says, Hello or good afternoon, they are nice people coming in bad neighbor turning them into safe places.
Thank you for commenting. From what I meant for communities I meant for all the parts of the community. So you believe that people from San Francisco are moving to Oakland but where are the people that use to live here and if were saying if those people are “violent”. Aren’t they still going to be violent just because they move doesn’t mean that our community could become safer. Even if people move in to Oakland from San Francisco I believe that it’s still going to be the same because the people that are committing crimes are still here in the Oakland community. So like as a community we have to find a way to stop that violence. But I also agree with you that people that are moving to San Francisco it can help support the community and make it better because they would have seen as like a model for the people in the community. There are many people in this world that makes this community better and not everyone is violent. But thank you for commenting.
I am surprised by your blog. I like that you include evidence from people that have seen or lived Police Brutality because this is true evidence that Police Brutality is happening here in Oakland. One sentence that you wrote that stands out to me is the sentence of your interview because it is true that people think that Police Brutality is based on race. I agree that is not about that. It is because Police officers feel like they have power over everyone and that they can correct anyone they want. I like the examples that you bring up in your introduction paragraph because they are true examples and they show evidence. Your post reminds me of me watching the news that said that police brutality had happened somewhere is the US. Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next.
Thank you for commenting on my blog. It means a lot to me that we both agree on this dealing with police brutality. Also, with the interviews I was really happy to also record them because they were very inspiring and fills a person with so much knowledge and different ideas on the matter. By the way I feel very flattered that you’d compare my writing to the news because their stories are so amazing to read. Again thank you for reading my work and I hope you read more of my work in the future and add comments.
I am delightly moved by your post on police brutality in Oakland. It’s such an important topic and i’m glad you shared your voice and decided to put out there experiences with police brutality. A sentence that you wrote that stood out to me was “ In Oakland, Police officers hurt Oakland residents physically and emotionally. Of course, when dealing with police brutality one is bound to have some scars, whether it be on your body or your heart”. This stood out to me because you’re totally right, these people are all getting hurt. Thank you for your writing, I’m so glad you decided to share and publish this. I am looking forward to seeing what you write next.
Thank you for reading my post on police brutality. I also love that you agree that it’s an important topic and I obviously agree. I’m happy you like the sentence that stood out to you because I felt that the sentence was one of the main points in my post and I’m glad you noticed it. Yet, as a question, how else do you feel Oakland people are getting hurt from police brutality? I’d really like to know :). Again thank you for reading my post and I appreciate your comments. Please read more of my work in the future and add more comments.
My name is Sharai Ward and I agree with your argument in your article. I am also against police brutality for my own personal reasons. What stood out the most in your article is when you said “Also, it just causes more distrust and it’s actually supporting the gentrification process by continually pushing out Native Oakland folks or Black and Brown people…” I agree with this statement because it seems that most lower class people are African American with bad houses and surroundings. If you agree with my statement please feel free to comment back your opinion.
I am grateful by your blog “ Families Affected by Gangs” because you can explain what happens to families in gangs and what they've been through. You give really good pieces of evidence and seem to know the right people to interview about this. A sentence that stood out to me was when u said “When losing a young one, what happens is stress and trauma. Also, that kid probably has not finished school yet and lost their lives”. This stood out to me because it's true and young youths do go through this. And it's really sad how they feel that way and then they gotta worry bout other personal stuff so they are left stressed out. Thanks for your writing.
Im grateful for your blog because you talk about real things that are happening like how young kids can be recruited into gangs and it effects families by seeing there young son growing up by joining these gangs. I also like how you wrote about peer pressuring and that a real thing that happens to kids everywhere not just in gangs that effects kids to do things that they don’t want to which may lead to things that get kids hurt. These lines stood out to me because thoughts are the things that happen the most through out oakland.
This is a youth-powered publishing platform that was started in 2003 by a group of teachers from local sites of the National Writing Project.
We merged several earlier blogging projects. We have found that there are many advantages to bringing students together in one site that lives beyond any particular class. It’s easier for individual students to read and write about their own passions, to connect with other students, comment on each other’s work, and create multimedia posts for each other. Further, it’s been exciting for us to pool our knowledge about curriculum, connected learning, and digital literacies.
There are over 8,000 posts and over 13,000 comments by young people on the site on topics as diverse as the American Dream, Shakespeare, and sports as well as original poems and stories.
Youth Voices is a platform for youth to write about their interests, both in school and outside of school: what they are reading, what their hobbies or future careers might be, what they enjoy in their spare time. Like all of us, students follow our national leadership and form opinions. They are also welcome to write about those topics as well.
Youth Voices is fully non-partisan and welcomes youth of all types, from all regions, and with all viewpoints. Educators support youth in writing and thoughtfully responding to each other through the use of commenting guides, using tags to show common interests, playlists to support self-guided inquiry; opinions expressed by writers are their own.
If being part of such a community makes sense to you, we invite you to join us. We welcome all youth and any teacher interested in having students publish online and participate in the give and take of a social network like Youth Voices.