Author
Dear Curyj:
We are three Oakland students who are writing to you because we have the same goal to decrease and stop gun violence in Oakland streets, for example, you guys have stopped gang injunctions which part way has decreased the gun violence between each other To add on, you on your page you explain your mission, and that is “The mission of CURYJ (“Courage”) is to end cycles of violence and poverty by uplifting young people of color that have been impacted by incarceration; CURYJ believes youth and young adults are the experts on the issues affecting their lives and must be involved in developing policies that impact them.” and in this case we as young students are trying to make a change to stop gun violence.
The issue is that gun violence is a problem on Oakland streets. Based on research, the issue was caused by exposing guns to the real world because it’s very easy to get hold of a deadly weapon nowadays. According to my research, In the article titled “Who is most affected by gun violence” explains, “People between the ages of 15 and 24 are most likely to be targeted by gun violence as opposed to other forms of violence. From 1976 to 2005, 77 percent of homicide victims ages 15-17 died from gun-related injuries. This age group was most at risk for gun violence during this time period” ( www.nij.gov/topics/crime/gun-violence/Pages/affected.aspx).This justifies our point because it shows who gets affected by gun violence today. This is kind of disappointing to hear that people around our age.
In the past a lot has been done for gun violence. For example I read an article based on a statue in lake merritt that represents people who are under 18 years old that have been killed because of maltreatment or violence. They have been adding names of those who had gotten killed since the 1990s and there is 433 people’s name on the statue. This statue shows that there is a lot of gang gun violence going on in Oakland. ( Tammerlin Drummond https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2016/05/06/oakland-lake-merritt-statue-puts-focus-on-children-who-died-in-violence-in-alameda-county/)
Another example is in chicago they had a rally on wednesday at Austin Intersections they would tell drivers to honk their horns to show some love and to put the guns down. This shows that there has been other movement in the past in order to help stop gun violence and to raise awareness that this is an important issue. ( Chicago Tribune http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/editorials/ct-chicago-violence-gangs-austin-edit-0813-20170811-story.html )
Based on past social movements, our plan is to have curyj talk about their situation and we can help better this situation.
Sincerely,
Mario Garibay-Hernandez, @jaredh, @joshual
Annotated bibliography
“Give.” CURYJ, www.curyj.org/give/.
CuryJ is a great source especially because we’re fighting for a very similar issue also we’re writing to them. Curyj believes that youth/youth adults are the experts on the issue that impacts most of their life and should be involved on any ways to stop their issue. Curyj has started working with young youth/ adult youth since 2011.
“Who Is Most Affected by Gun Violence?” National Institute of Justice, www.nij.gov/topics/crime/gun-violence/Pages/affected.aspx.
This website explains how young adults are affected by this issue. This was modified May 19, 2010 which means that it’s 8 years old. If it said that 77 percent of young adults had died cause of gun violence, that must mean that it could of got higher or even lower after 8 years have passed.
#STOPGGV
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My name is Kevin and i agree with you there is a lot of violence in Oakland. I lived most of my life here and like I seen the environment around me. Like I heard some many gun shots near a live that I am use to it.
Hello evreyone
(Hi im Hannah Baker) I agree with you that the society is in a crisis because of the weapons people carry and the damage they could cause and that they have caused. I feel that people should stop gun violence because if we do we could save even more lives.
Hello everyone.
My name is Albert Munn and I am a student at Fremont High School here in Oakland. I just read your project blog post and I have some feedback.
One thing I liked about what you wrote was how you want to keep the gun violent’s out of the streets. Also how you care about what happens in the streets because most people do not care.
Something I have a question about is what made you do this projecy
Thank you for sharing your project!
Albert
Hello Jared, Joshua, and Mario,
I’m so excited for you three to have a project that allows you to make an impact on others. I honestly wish that I had something like this when I was in high school.
This is a great starting point as a letter to CORYJ! I think your topic is so important, and gun violence in Oakland sounds like an issue that can affect you personally since it’s your home. You can use this aspect to have you letter sound more personal. Credible sources are always important to back up your claims, but since this particular topic is about your home, you can also talk about how gun violence in Oakland affects you as young adults growing up in this city. (This is called “Pathos” or emotional appeal).
I would also suggest explaining your plan of action a little more, and possibly making it sound very thought out and organized. You can also ask CORYJ to join you in the walkout.
Just a little tip: I would also stay away from the phrase “According to my research…” and just just straight to “According to (insert credible source here)…”
I can’t wait to see how your project develops! I hope this helps
– Natasha
As an Oakland native, your letter really touches me. I lost a cousin to gun violence when I was younger and it was devastating. I, too, agree that we should end gun violence in the streets of Oakland. There are so many lives taken away due to gun violence and it is so senseless. That’s why groups like CURYJ are doing great things by stepping up to take action and make a difference in the community. However, even though walkouts may seem like a good idea, there are other ways to raise awareness and be involved in the movement. You can raise awareness about gun violence by starting a conversation online on social media or raise money to film a “Stop the Violence” PSA commercial to air on TV. Keep up the good fight; you are the voices of the future!
Hello Mario, Jared, and Joshua.
It is great to see that you all are passionate about an issue that your community is facing on a daily basis. Curyj is an ally that you are seeking so you want to keep your responses in line with this idea. The way that you all end your written letter you say, “who gives a frick about the principal’s idea of not letting us do the walkout” this statement makes you all seem less credible or professional.
Also keep in mind that this is penned with you all as the creators but you mention, “according to my research,” this should our instead of my since you all are in a group together. You all have really powerful information in your research and I think that you all should include this in the forefront of your letter. Think about how powerful it would be to throw that research out right off the bat. You all are on the right track just maybe fully flush out your plan.
Best of Luck!!