My full name is Yadira Magana Leon.
“Yadira” is the name that I go by.
Only teachers call me by my first name.
This name is different from others, hardly no one ever heard the name Yadira before.
I always have been the only Yadira in my class.
“Yadira” means a smart, nice, sweet, caring, a sense of humor, loyal, faithful, fun and the realist friend.
That doesn’t sound like me.
I don’t like being smart.
I don’t care.
I have a terrible sense of humor.
I ain’t fun.
I ain’t the realist friend.
I hate being nice.
I don’t like eating or being sweet.
I can’t be loyal because I’ve been betrayed my whole life.
I ain’t faithful because I’ve never had faith in your shit.
I am lazy.
I can be dumb.
I can be too serious.
I can be smile at times, even when it’s rough.
I am responsible and I respect others.
I am unique, one of a kind.
I even love sour stuff.
I don’t care what society or anyone else thinks.
I am different and different is beautiful.
There is nothing special about my name.
My name wasn’t the name I was called by in elementary and middle school.
All I remember were the nicknames that were given to me.
My classmates never called me by my name.
I was called four-eyes, nerd, retard, useless, loser, gross, bitch, crybaby, snitch.
Those are the nicknames that were given to me.
I have memories of being called those names.
Those name felt like pieces of trash that I keep holding on when they hit me.
But now I don’t care.
Nicknames don’t affect me.
They only bring back the past.
They only made me think that those names hurt me long ago.
I want to be called whatever you want to call me.
I don’t care if you don’t use my name.
That won’t affect me, my life nor my future.