Dear Youth Voices Community,

My name is Valeria Fernandez, I am a senior in the Media Academy at Fremont High School. We are currently working on our research for our senior project. Working on my process journal three was pretty stressful because I had to find right sources that were trustworthy and informative.  

This is my current thesis statement:

Social media and tech jobs such as Facebook, Google, Instagram, and twitter are running our world but those jobs are mostly being run by men which means we don’t see the perspective of women. Most STEM jobs are being filled by men, and women are being left behind. The inequality in the tech industry is huge but it can be fixed. Big tech companies can have internships and programs that will groom high school girls to embrace technology creation from a young age, young adults, who will help and motivate young girls knowing they have support from big companies.

Fremont High School seniors are now writing preliminary thesis statements to help guide how they read their sources. I would greatly appreciate your feedback and help on my preliminary thesis statement. If you could score my thesis statement using this rubric, that would be even more helpful!!!

Valeria Fernandez
Fremont High School

image_printPrint this page.


0 0 votes
Rate This Post
Notify of
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
October 3, 2017 2:55 am

Valeria, this is a topic that has been very important for many years. This is something I agree with as well. I think its only fair that both genders have equal chances at everything in life. I also think that if more woman were accepted into programs like stem, that we would have new and innovative viewpoints and ideas that would really help improve technology. Have you thought about how these programs and gender equality might change in the future?
Helpful Source:

October 2, 2017 9:45 pm

Hi Valeria! I love your topic for your research project. One of my goals to to become a cardiologist, and currently only 15 percent of all US Cardiologists are women. Not only is the number of females to males in any given field are usually different, but there is also a wage gap. outlines the gender pay gap, which may be an interesting idea to act to your research paper. Hopefully I will get to read more about your insights about Women in STEM in the future.

October 1, 2017 1:23 am

Great topic and or research I would look at each different technology companies’ outlooks. For example Google has a website on how to apply for jobs there as well as some tips, the job description, etc. here: I’m sure the other companies have similar websites for hiring team members. On top of how the workplace encourages females to pursue tech jobs, I would look into how education systems encourage girls to pursue tech and sciences because even if tech companies want females, the girls often have to already have a drive to want to join these companies as well as some skills. Hopefully I was able to give some help with your project and I wish you luck in finding more sources. Keep working hard!

September 29, 2017 7:00 pm

I like this post a lot! I think it is very important to help women stay involved as jobs move more into STEM studies. In the past, we have made a lot of progress in helping women find equal opportunities. We shouldn’t stop this progress, and as the focus of work force is shifting, we should shift our progress with it. A couple years ago I participated in an initiative called the Perry initiative. It was a day long class that helped young girls learn about engineering and orthopedic surgery, and how to start a career in those fields. I think it is super important that we keep girls involved. This is a great thesis statement, good job! is a great cite to learn more about female equality in STEM careers.

September 29, 2017 6:25 pm

Hi Valeria. Great start on your senior project! Your question is fascinating. Your thesis is focused, debatable and presents a viable solution. I would give your thesis statement a 3, “Passing”, because your thesis is good, but I think your solution needs to be more specific. To make your thesis more specific, you may want to address what a women’s viewpoint contributes to STEM companies. Also, you may want to specifically focus on one or two STEM internships that offer solutions to the problem, as it will be a much easier to research a few organizations then all of them. You may also want to touch on why girls don’t go into STEM as often as boys, because it will help you explain the solutions. The Girl Scouts published a study on why girls don’t go into STEM as much as boys do, I think it will help you with your question This article from Time, “How to Get More Girls Involved in STEM” may help you fins a few specific solutions. Good luck! I cant wait to read more of your senior project!

September 29, 2017 6:25 pm

Hi Valeria, I think you’ve chosen a very interesting topic for your research paper. In my opinion STEM programs are heavily male oriented and the jobs involving engineering in generally associated with boys. I think you have a strong thesis statement, I would rate it a level 3 almost a level 4 according to the rubric you’ve provided. I think if you are to include the statement “social media and tech jobs such as Facebook, Google, Instagram, and twitter are running our world but those jobs are mostly being run by men which means we don’t see the perspective of women” you need to further explain why their perspective is important. I personally don’t think arguing about someone’s perspective or view point will be entirely successful and it may be hard to find evidence that supports this claim. Maybe elaborate more on how women in jobs associated with STEM programs are facing major inequalities in the workforce, and are often taken advantage of by their male counterparts. Women also suffer a major wage gap, something that is often seen within larger tech companies. I think arguing that may give you an easier solution. It will also set you up to talk about how more and more women are becoming engineering majors and getting other degrees surrounding the STEM program.

Here are a few links that may help you elaborate more on your topic.

I think you will have a very interesting paper, and I hope to read more about it!

September 29, 2017 4:17 am

Hi Valeria, I am intrigued by your research. Your thesis statement is specific and well-reasoned.I personally love STEM so I know a program called National Center for Women & Information Technology (NCWIT), which is a program that encourages women to be involved in science and technology(especially in computer science). I think this program will be helpful for your research. Also, since you said that “Social media and tech jobs such as Facebook, Google, Instagram, and twitter are running our world but those jobs are mostly being run by men which means we don’t see the perspective of women”, you can find some data about employment rate of men vs. women to support your statement (maybe you can go to their official website to find some data).

Are there more ways that can fix this situation? Are there any advantage for women who work for STEM? I know that some companies are trying to balance male and female population so women are easier to get a STEM job than men do.

Good luck on your research project.I am looking forward to see what you write next about women in STEM.

Useful sources:

Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License


Email Call or Text 917-612-3006

Missions on Youth Voices
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account