Today in modern America kids are becoming more spoiled by their parents. As a society we have gotten away from teaching our kids how to work for their rewards in life. Most of the time kids are taught to work by simple chores around their household, these chores give children some work and eventually is why they are given a reward from their parents. Lately, I am noticing more and more children who don’t do chores around their house, but still get a benefit from their parents. This builds up a sense of entitlement over time and the children will eventually just expect benefits. This teaches that a little amount of work, or even no work at all will get a reward.
I read and article written about a mother who discovered this sort of thing in her own children and decided to fix it. She talks about the struggles for herself not spoiling her kids and really making them learn things and rewarding them after. “Her son’s sense of entitlement had reached ludicrous proportions, and a big part of the problem, she realized, was the way she’d been raising all five of her children to be unacquainted with hard work.”. We as a society do so much for our children and that is not a bad thing, but at this point we have gone too far. Children now have this sense of entitlement that will hurt them in the future. If all of our children grow up with this sense of entitlement then where will the hard work go? Everyone would be so lazy that society would function at such a slower pace and a lower level.
This way of parenting also sends another false message, as seen in this article. “Parents who shower their kids with accolades and race in to solve their kids’ problems send the unspoken message, “I’ll do it for you because you can’t” and “No sense in your trying because I can do it faster and better,” writes Wyma.”. As a kid all you want to do is prove that you are capable enough to be an adult. I remember being so proud of myself as a kid the first time I did the dishes, mowed the lawn, or even cooked dinner, because it made me feel like I had done something that was responsible. Kids that are deprived of this don’t get this sense of responsibility early on in life and that awesome feeling of pride.
So what can we do? This article written about this mother fixing her parenting mistakes is a good representation of what all parents can do. You can just follow something similar to the steps that she used, or even come up with something on your own, but we need to do something. We need to prepare our youth for the real world, not shield them from it. I am not saying that everything needs to be thrown at them that is harsh, I am just saying that our youth need to be less sheltered and have more freedom.
Here is a link of the article: http://www.macleans.ca/society/life/the-cents-of-entitlement/
Here is also a link to my annotations and quotes:
The issue of mass infantilization I find, is more systemic and that the explanation of “mediocre parenting” does not do enough justice. We can see this all around us in our society. The government compels youth to attend schools where noncompliance and individuality in all its forms is constrained and stifled. Heck, the schools even legally take on the privileges your parents do in order to deprive you of basic constitutional rights.
In law, the government acts as a nanny. You can’t drive without permission from the government, you can’t drink or smoke any substance without being told its okay, you can’t do business without the government making you do it in ridiculous and bureaucratic ways.
It’s all over contemporary media that an entire generation of university students have Peter Pan’d themselves into absurdity. Certainly, some older generation could be blamed, and I certainly agree that some parents are complicit.
I have also noticed the entitlement kids have today. Kids today do not need to work for rewards now. Kids are now receiving rewards without doing anything. As they grow up, they have a feel like things should be easier for them and be handed to them. I found this article that actually gives you signs if your child may have entitlement issues. I hope to read more about this topic in the future!
This is so great and I hope many more see this. Some parents just love blaming issues with their kids on public education when in reality, much of the blame may lie on their shoulders. The main issue is that the parents don’t even realize what their children are turning into. Giving love and care needs a balance because too much causes this sense of entitlement you speak of.