How To Be Able To Get Out and To Speak Up
How can the world encourage more victims of Domestic Violence to speak up? What is stopping them and why do they not feel safe? The way to encourage victims to speak up is to remove them from the situation to a place they feel safe and to support them in processing their experience afterwards to heal.
Firstly, by removing the victims from domestic violence so they can feel safe the victims will begin to speak up. Additionally, it is important that they are removed from the situation without getting hurt in the process of being removed. To begin, in the article, “Why Doesn’t She Just Leave,” it talks about how sometimes domestic violence can show how easily the victim can be manipulated in the relationship which can cause a lot of lack of self-esteem/confidence. “Ending an intimate relationship is almost always difficult, but even more so when the victim’s/survivor’s self-confidence has been destroyed by abuse/r. Victims/survivors of domestic violence may assume that violence in an unavoidable part of their life. Victims/survivors may also blame themselves for the violence as they are repeatedly told it is their fault by their abuser to the point that they blame themselves for the violence as they are repeatedly told it is their fault by their abuser to the point that they become confidence of it and believe that it’s their responsibility to “fix” it” (NEW CHOICES, INC). The importance of removing the victim and helping them feel safe is important because of how some times they are being manipulated by the abuser saying it’s their fault so they have to “fix” it. It manipulates the victim because of how the abuser is trying to show how he is stronger than the victim and he’ll show it in any way, just like lowering the victim’s self-esteem. This is horrible because if the abuser keeps on putting down the victim, she will never speak up with the low confidence that she has. With the low confidence it will make her feel like she won’t ever get out of the relationship since she has no power over him and the decisions he makes. If the victims tries to say “stop” “no” etc, it will harm the victim or worse. That is why it will be better if we try to help the victim get away from the abusers house and himself so that she’ll be able to speak up and maybe start over. But we need make sure that the victim will be safe from the abuser because we had promised them that we will keep them safe from the abuser.. “Your instinct may be to “save” them from the relationship, but it’s not easy. After all, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and leaving can be a very dangerous time for the victim” (The National Domestic Violence HOTLINE). Some people may think that it is not as easy as it seems when it comes to removing the victim. Which means she once she is out of the abusers house and safe it will be easier for her to speak up. Since the abuser won’t be able to hurt / attack the victim if she speaks about the relationship.
Secondly, the way to help victims process the domestic violence that had happened in their life it to help them process talking about the abuse when they are not in the abuser’s house. Without taking a risk of the victims getting hurt from the abuser because the whole point of helping them talk about the abuse in their relationship is by getting them away from the abusers house. If you are experiencing domestic violence right now or also someone you know who is experiencing any type of abuse in their relationship, you should tell them that they should go visit these articles:
- The Facts on Health Care and Domestic Violence
- The Facts on Reproductive Health and Partner Abuse
- The Facts on Violence Against Women With HIV/AIDS
- The Facts on Guns and Domestic Violence
- The Facts on Immigrant Women and Domestic Violence
- The Facts on Workplace and Domestic Violence
- The Facts on Workplace Impact of Domestic Violence and Stalking
These articles can tell you a plethora of information about how staying in the abusive relationship can cause all of these problems that are not good for you and your health. By doing this the victims would get help or advice from someone we trust who won’t judge their decision they’re making. This will affect our and the victims lives decisions because the faster the victim has left the abusive relationship, the faster the victim will feel safe from the abuser. Something that has been recommended is either counseling or therapy for the victims to be able to talk and express how they are either feeling. Without the physical abuse or sexually abuse in the relationship. The evidence that I will be supporting of how counseling or therapy will work is the article called “Therapy for Abuse Survivors, Survivors of Abuse”, the article talks about how abuse can cause a lot of bad memories to the victim. She will get flashbacks, scared if someone tries to touch her, and if they try to find peace or happiness in their life, it will affect them, it will not go as well as they had thought it will go. They will give up on the chances they have that’s given to them which won’t be good for the victim because it will be harder for them to recover on their confidence. Since the abuser might put the victim down, he will put the victim’s self-esteem lower and manipulate the victim by saying things that will hurt them to make them feel like they are “nothing”. By doing this, once the victim believes it, it would take a lot to try and convince them that they’re not “nothing”. So the theory is that by helping the victims to process this, it will take time with a therapist or a counselor to help the victims get their confidence back.
In conclusion, some folks may argue that domestic violence isn’t really impactable because they might think there are other things are way more important than the abuse and sexual abuse. But they are wrong because we need to stop the abuse from happening in the relationships or even in families. Domestic Violence is a significant problem because my cousin has experienced sexual abuse because he molested her when she was young. If domestic violence is continuing I don’t think we will be able to stop from it happening. Two key statics that I’ve learned is that, 15.5 million children in the United States live in families in which occurred at least once in the past year, and seven million children live in families in which severe partner violence occurred. Also another key statistics that I had learned was women who have experienced domestic violence are 80 percent more likely to have a stroke. 70 percent more likely to have heart disease. Why am I telling you this? I am telling you this because this is showing everyone, the ones who are experiencing domestic violence and also who isn’t. This is very important for the Victims who are scared for their lives or parents who are also the victim who’s afraid for their children. So, we need to do something about domestic violence, to stop or either help the victims.
Photo by [Daniela Brown Photography]