Darkness by Dawning

November 17, 2021



The definition of shame and fear
all feelings in which was driving through my mind
My fears unravel one by one
as darkness surrounds me 
All of a sudden,
The sky rumbles as clouds fold in,
dark gray as if it were Halloween night
Yet the sea I stand by luminesces through the darkness 
My reflection starts to disappear as the sky fills with rain
cold as ice as it pours down my back,
And flashes of lightning and roars of thunder hover above
I am not scared anymore,
for which my fears were holding me back
And now I stand there looking at my submerged reflection
So innocent and free,
What a life that could have been
But now darkness surrounds me
My reflection is no longer there,
leaving only the pitch black sea 
So lonely and dark 
As I stand there staring at my so called soul 
Confusion arises, blood boiling, total emptiness 
Why must I feel like this? What makes me different from anyone else?
Why can’t I be normal? 
I hear voices chattering behind my back,
Prolonged stares in which I can feel running down my spine,
Name calling, pushing and hitting, and occasional cold ice dumped down my shirt
I can’t bear it any longer,
I have no friends and every bit of solidity I have results in my parents telling me…..       
to get over myself
I have no one and nothing to lose
For now darkness is my friend 
And in open arms, my paradisiac sea wraps me up like a blanket,
ready to rest in peace at the deep seafloor
…..I am finally free and home