Its’ calm
Peaceful,
A sense of euphoria rushes through my spine
As a blast of the ocean breeze grazes my face,
The water below along with my Pride (my ship) are in perfect harmony
Both still,
The sky resmembles a tangerine
A perfect afternoon as the sun sets creating a vibrant orange across the sky,
My destination is set,
All is well until a dark patch is spotted in the sky
Following that patch is a layer of dark purplish clouds within the sky,
A sudden shake in the water slighlty rocks Pride out of its tranquility
Fear strikes my soul looking above to find that the sky is subemersed in dark purple clouds,
Rain begins to pour as more and more waves strike the ship
I brace for impact,
In the distance I see it
A colassal wave resembling the mountains of yosemite,
I am in awe and in total defeat
I know there is nothing I can do,
Pride begins to shift upward until
A violent jerk occurs causing the ship to be completely submerged,
I’m in utter darkness
I can’t see,
Water in my lungs
I can’t breathe,
I hold on to Pride but it tears away from my grasp
I’m left tumbling in the waves,
Out of air I reach for the strap on my life jacket and pull
I’m on the verge of passing out as my body begins to float
Towards the surface of the water,
My ship slowly sinks towards the bottom of the ocean,
I try to chase it but I have no strength
Trying to be the bigger man I had to let Pride go,
My destination being knocked off course
A sense of purpose gone,
I’m left having to deal with the aftermath of the reckage
Staring at the clouds wondering why this has happened to me,
FIghting to stay awake but my eyes are heavy
I close my eyes and wake up to find myself somwhere else,
Clear blue skies above me
Warm bage sand beneath me,
All seems well
I stand and feel the sand between my toes,
Rerouting my destination
while having to deal with the loss of my ship,
But somhow someway I’m still
alive.
Dear Vesna,
This piece was very visual. As I continued to read I felt this story come alive, I was able to see the colors and tragedy you experienced. This piece was really dope, hope to see more of your work in the future. Never stop writing loser. You have the mic, don’t let it fade away.
Dear Vesna,
Damn.
Dear vesna,
I really liked how you put together this written piece. It almost makes me think about how there are many obstacle courses life decides to throw our way, but we continue to fight and make it out stronger, wiser, and smarter than before. I love how you use the connection of your feelings to the way the color of the sky changes to go along. It’s like the world knows what you are going through and is being empathetic. I hope you continue on with your journey and preserve to be a great person.
Vesna, those three minutes I spent reading your lovely poem was the only right thing I did today. I liked how you used specific words like “the sky resembled a tangerine” where I could create my own illustration of your poem in my mind. This poem reminds me of the saying, “nothing lasts forever” where something can go right to terribly wrong in a matter of seconds. Keep writing Vesna, I look forward to reading them soon.
Vesna,
I loved your writing because it is more complex than just finding a lens. I think this piece of writing has to be thought about way more to actually be able to connect to a lens simply because it has been thought about really well. This poem I think is all together a metaphor to something that can be simply said. This shows me how much you have pushed yourself as a writer.