Back to when…
I was 7…
To when the smell of the burning wood
To the sticky half burned marshmallows
To the itchy mosquito bites
To the sun smiling down at me
To sweaty me smiling back
To the peaceful lake that was a mirror of our shining smiles
To all the birthdays celebrated
To all the wishes made
To the secrets whispered in the dark tents
To scaring away raccoons
To the bright light of the stars scattered in the night sky
To getting lost in the tall trees
To 3 nights not being enough
To leaving and promising to come back
To now that I’m 17 and coming back

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April 24, 2019 3:57 pm

Dear Kimberli:

I am excited by your poem, “Back to when…,” because It’s very nice what you write. I like how you talk about burned marshmallows.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: ”To the peaceful lake that was a mirror of our shining smiles.” I think this is beautiful because you lived a very happy and carefree life.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I would like to see what you write about how you live now.

Samantha.

Ruby
October 28, 2018 9:01 pm

Kimberli, This is such an interesting piece of prose I had to read it many times to fully piece together the information that you give. I love the repetitiveness of the piece and how detailed you made each line. Although it is a small piece of writing it tells a much bigger story that is quite interesting. My favorite line was when you said “To the peaceful lake that was a mirror of our shining smiles” I thought that this showed a lot of detail and inclusion in other things other than just the writing.

Youth Voices is an open publishing and social networking platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.  See more About Youth VoicesTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy.All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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