A Hypertext Simulation
Treat this like a script for a play. Dramatize the AI results that we’ve copied from OpenAI and pasted under the tabs on this page.
Choose roles: Red, Blue, Orange, and Green, and decide who will read the student’s Text and the “Dear Reader” Letter in the center, as well as a reader for the four prompts in the templates at the bottom.
Sayback
It seems that Native American communities experience hardship and inequality in the U.S. in terms of housing and employment, as well as other issues such as alcohol abuse and higher rates of rape, suicide and school shootings. This experience is similar to the author’s experience with their parents being unemployed in the U.S. and feeling unsafe due to school shootings and sex trafficking. This paints a troubling picture of inequality in the U.S., which begs the question of how we can address these issues.
Pointing
Point 1: “The reservation system started in 1851 when the government forced Native Americans to move west because the government believed Native Americans were different from them.” This phrase has a lot of energy and carries special conviction, as it speaks to the long history of discrimination and injustice faced by Native Americans.
Point 2: “At the Pine Ridge Reservation, suicide increased by about 10%. One in three women were raped. Wild animals were in the dirty playgrounds. Medicine was scarce. There was a lot of alcoholism due to all the stress they had.” This phrase is loud and full of voice, as it paints a powerful image of the hardship faced by the residents of the Pine Ridge Reservation.
Point 3: “That’s why there are drills about the shootings. That’s why I am not allowed to go home by myself. That’s why my parents don’t trust anyone, and, low-key, make my life impossible.” These words and phrases really got through to me because they speak to the fear and anxiety that have become part of daily life for so many people. It rings true to my own experience of growing up in a time of increased violence and insecurity.
Lurking
How has the Indian Removal Act, Indian Appropriations Act, and Trail of Tears affected Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation?
What has been your family’s experience with employment in the U.S. compared to their experience in their home country?
What are some of the specific consequences of the poverty and lack of employment on the Pine Ridge Reservation?
What specific safety measures do you take because of the prevalence of school shootings, sex trafficking, rape, alcoholism, and suicide?
“Dear Reader” Letter
Your text provides a vivid account of the disparities between life on the Pine Ridge Reservation and in your own experience. You have pointed out how government and other forces have shaped both of these experiences and raised important questions about how to address these issues.
To answer the questions you’ve posed in your “Dear Reader” Letter, you may wish to include a discussion about the current strategies and initiatives being implemented by both Native American communities and the US government to address some of the issues raised. You could also add further research into the history of Native American dispossession and its impact on the current situation. Additionally, you could provide more examples from your own experience to bring a personal touch to the narrative and to help the reader understand more fully the current state of affairs.
Do a Readthrough!
Start by reading the student’s Text in the center aloud, then read all of the Sayback, Pointing, and Lurking results in turn. Pause to hear the “Dear Reader” Letter before reading the fourth AI results.
You can choose to read the prompts in the templates the bottom or not. This step is optional and is mainly for teachers.
Sayback
It appears that the U.S. is not as perfect as people may think, and this is especially true for Native Americans. Your experience of housing and employment in your home country and in the U.S. reflects this, and it is alarming to hear the statistics of suicide, rape, and sex trafficking. I’m curious to hear more about the emotional impact of all of this on your family.
Pointing
The phrase that really penetrated my skull and carried special conviction was, “Rape is still very high. Sex trafficking is still around, and kidnapping. That’s why there are drills about the shootings. That’s why I am not allowed to go home by myself. That’s why my parents don’t trust anyone, and, low-key, make my life impossible.” This phrase is loud and full of voice, and it carries a lot of energy. It rings true to me because it is something that I have experienced, or at least know people who have experienced similar pains. It also carries special conviction because it speaks to the harsh reality that people face in our society, and it emphasizes the need for action to make the situation better.
Lurking
What specific elements of the Pine Ridge Reservation do you want to focus on to further develop?
What kinds of details can you provide to give the reader a more immersive experience of the Pine Ridge Reservation?
What themes or ideas do you want to explore more deeply in relation to your family’s experience in the US?
What elements of the US experience do you want to further contrast with the experience at the Pine Ridge Reservation?
What other examples or evidence can you provide to support your claims about life in the US?
How can you use language to further illustrate the contrast between life in the US and on the Pine Ridge Reservation?
“Dear Reader” Letter
You have raised some powerful issues and shared your personal experience to illustrate the realities of life for Native Americans and your family. Your description of the poverty and violence faced by Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation is especially effective. It would be great if you could provide more detail about the ways in which the US government’s policies have contributed to this situation, and how the Native Americans are responding and advocating for change. In addition, it would be beneficial to explore the connections between your experience as a recent immigrant and that of the Native Americans. For example, what is the overlap between the government policies that affected your family, and those affecting Native Americans? How do the experiences of unemployment, poverty, and violence you and your family faced in your home country and the US compare to those faced by Native Americans? What changes could be implemented to address the problems you raise in your text? Further research into potential solutions could provide useful information to help you craft an even more effective text.
Text: American Dream vs Indians vs My Experience.
Click to see this blog on Youth Voices.
Even though people might think everything is perfect or better in the U.S., it isn’t. Ask the Native Americans. People think houses are clean, beautiful, and almost perfect. They think it’s very safe, and they think that employment is excellent. You get super rich, and everything is just so much better.
However, Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation lived in houses that looked abandoned and dilapidated, with trash and unhoused people everywhere. Everyone was without houses because there were no good jobs. In fact, about 89% of the population was unemployed. The reservation system started in 1851 when the government forced Native Americans to move west because the government believed Native Americans were different from them. That’s why we now study the Indian Removal Act, the Indian Appropriations Act, and The Trail of Tears.
In my family’s experience, my experience with all of these, my housing is average, with enough space, but some things need to be fixed. In terms of employment, in my opinion, and experience, both of my parents are unemployed now. At first in my home country, both parents worked as teachers. When they came to the U.S., my mom had to work in a factory, while my dad worked in the factory and as a security guard. In New York, they are unemployed.
At the Pine Ridge Reservation, suicide increased by about 10%. One in three women were raped. Wild animals were in the dirty playgrounds. Medicine was scarce. There was a lot of alcoholism due to all the stress they had.
In my experience, there are a lot of school shootings, sex trafficking, rape, alcoholism, and suicide. There have been many school shootings, kids dying, and suicide. Rape is still very high. Sex trafficking is still around, and kidnapping. That’s why there are drills about the shootings. That’s why I am not allowed to go home by myself. That’s why my parents don’t trust anyone, and, low-key, make my life impossible.
Example of a “Dear Reader” Letter
Dear Reader,
I think I need to go into more detail about what happened to Native Americans in the past and how or why this is impacting on them now. Also I could probably be more clear about the relationships between my experience as a recent immigrant and what life is like for Native Americans. Also I think I need to do some research into what can be done about all the problems I raise here, but I’m not sture what to focus on.
Sayback
It seems like the U.S. is not the safe, prosperous place that many people think it is for everyone. The Pine Ridge Reservation is a stark example of this, with its incredibly high unemployment, lack of housing and medicine, and rampant violence and alcoholism. Similarly, there are many issues in the U.S. today, such as school shootings, sex trafficking, and rape. It’s remarkable how much these problems have impacted the writer’s life, from having to take safety drills to their parents not trusting anyone. It makes me think about the experiences of other people in the U.S. today.
Pointing
Quote 1: “In my family’s experience, my experience with all of these, my housing is average, with enough space, but some things need to be fixed. In terms of employment, in my opinion, and experience, both of my parents are unemployed now.”
This quote sticks out because it speaks to the harsh reality of the unequal opportunities and unfairness that minority communities face. It highlights the difficulties that the speaker has experienced in terms of housing and employment, which is a stark contrast to the privileged life many people in the U.S. enjoy. This quote allows us to understand how the speaker and their family have been affected by systemic racism and violence.
Quote 2: “At the Pine Ridge Reservation, suicide increased by about 10%. One in three women were raped. Wild animals were in the dirty playgrounds. Medicine was scarce. There was a lot of alcoholism due to all the stress they had.”
This quote is powerful because it paints a vivid picture of the struggles the Native American community faces, and the devastating effects of the reservation system. It emphasizes the racial disparities that exist in the U.S. and the lack of access to basic needs, like medicine and clean water. This quote really drives home the injustices that have been inflicted on the Native American population and how they continue to suffer today.
Quote 3: “That’s why there are drills about the shootings. That’s why I am not allowed to go home by myself. That’s why my parents don’t trust anyone, and, low-key, make my life impossible.”
This quote speaks to the fear and insecurity that minority communities live with on a daily basis due to the prevalence of violence and racism. It emphasizes the challenges that the speaker faces in their day-to-day life and how they are constantly wary of their safety. This quote rings true to many people and carries a special conviction, making it a powerful part of this text.
Lurking
How did your family adjust to moving to the U.S.? What were the specific challenges they faced when they moved? Could you provide more detail about how the reservation system was implemented and the effects it had? What were the different types of support available to Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation? What were some of the additional challenges your family faced in New York? How did the stress and trauma of living on the Reservation manifest in the community? What specific safety measures do you take to protect yourself in the U.S.?
“Dear Reader” Letter
You have provided a vivid description of what life is like for Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation as well as a clear comparison to your own experience as a recent immigrant. You pose some interesting questions about what can be done to address the problems faced by Native Americans, which suggest that you may need to do some additional research to help you answer those questions. You could consider looking into the history of Native American rights, focusing on how legal and policy changes have impacted on their lives, as well as looking into what initiatives are currently in place that are attempting to address the problems you have outlined. You may find it useful to look into the work of organizations such as the National Congress of American Indians and the Native American Rights Fund to see how they are tackling the issues you have raised. Additionally, you could consider looking into the possible effects of returning land to Native American tribes, as this could have a positive impact on their economic, political and social rights.
Discuss
If you were the writer, would you have found this process to be both harmless and helpful? Which of the templates do you think are the most effective in getting you to persist, think flexibly, and strive for precision in your next draft? What more support could you use to complete the next draft?
Sayback
From what you have written, it seems like you are deeply affected by the issues of unemployment and unsafe living conditions that Native Americans face, as well as the alarming rates of school shootings, sex trafficking, rape, alcoholism, and suicide in the U.S. Can you tell me more about your personal experience with these issues?
Pointing
Point 1: “That’s why there are drills about the shootings. That’s why I am not allowed to go home by myself. That’s why my parents don’t trust anyone, and, low-key, make my life impossible.” This phrase really speaks to the reality of the situation. It communicates the feeling of fear, of being cautious and of the need for security that is experienced by so many people, Native Americans in particular, living in the United States today.
Point 2: “Wild animals were in the dirty playgrounds. Medicine was scarce. There was a lot of alcoholism due to all the stress they had.” This speaks to the harsh conditions that Native Americans are faced with in the U.S. and demonstrates the lack of resources available to them. It speaks to the reality of the situation, and the fear and desperation that comes with it.
Point 3: “In my family’s experience, my experience with all of these, my housing is average, with enough space, but some things need to be fixed. In terms of employment, in my opinion, and experience, both of my parents are unemployed now.” This speaks volumes about the difficulties faced by the writer’s family and serves as a reminder of the harsh realities faced by so many in the United States. It carries special conviction due to its personal nature and speaks to the struggles faced by the writer and their family.
Lurking
How did the Indian Removal Act, Indian Appropriations Act, and the Trail of Tears affect the Native Americans living on the Pine Ridge Reservation?
What other struggles and issues affected the people living on the Pine Ridge Reservation?
What were the experiences of your parents when they moved to the U.S.?
What are some of the experiences that you have had in regards to school shootings, sex trafficking, rape, alcoholism and suicide?
“Dear Reader” Letter
You have provided an interesting comparison between the experiences of Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation and your own experience as a recent immigrant. Your text clearly outlines the historical and current conditions that Native Americans must face and the challenges that you have faced in adjusting to life in the U.S. You have done a good job of providing concrete examples to illustrate these points.
In order to provide more detail to your text, consider researching different resources that can help you provide more context to the situation. It would be helpful to provide more information about why the government forced Native Americans to move west and why they are facing the conditions they do today. Additionally, it would be beneficial to research what can be done to help Native Americans in their current situation and how you can use your own experiences to help them. Finally, it could be interesting to compare the current situation of Native Americans to other minority groups in the U.S. and analyze the similarities and differences between their experiences.
Assessment Framework
Sample Peer Review Sequence: Active Listening & Supportive Feedback (on NowComment), Prepared by Erica Kaufman and the Institute for Writing & Thinking, Bard College, 2015
AI Mojo Templates
[Revising 12] Sayback
Be a listener in a peer response group who is responding to this [TEXT] Assume that you have just heard this text read aloud and summarize what you have heard for the writer. Talk directly to the writer.
Sondra Perl and Mimi Schwartz describe this moment as allowing “for readers to reflect back to the writer what they hear in the piece”
Give the writer the main idea or gist of the text, and be sure talk about all of the points raised. Expand on this with two or three examples from the text that you paraphrase in words that are different from the words in the text.
By hearing you “sayback” the main idea of the draft, the
writer will be able to see if the piece is saying what he/she hopes it is saying, and explore what the piece expresses that may not have been intended.
End by talking about something you are wondering about. Say this in a way that invites the writer to respond without actually posing a question.
[Revising 13] Pointing
Use the given text and simply point to the words and phrases which might most successfully penetrate a reader’s skull.
Point to and quote from my text the words and phrases that seem:
loud or full of voice
to have a lot of energy
somehow to ring true
to carry special conviction
Point to my text three times and each time, quote from my text and expand on why this part really got through to you.
Speak to me as the writer of this text.
[TEXT][Revising 14] Lurking
Please give me feedback on my text.
What is almost said? What do you want to hear more about?
Please phrase your feedback in questions.
Assume that you have heard my text read aloud. Be that special listener who aims to help me, as the writer, to see spaces in the text that may need to be developed further.
Use second person, (e.g. “you”) to direct your questions to me, the writer of this text.
Avoid making judgments about what works and what doesn’t.
I’m looking for questions to answer in order to expand and enrich my
draft.
These questions must be specific and grounded in moments of the text, helping to guide my revision process.
[TEXT][Revising 15] “Dear Reader” Letter
First pay attention to my “Dear Reader” Letter that I have written, then use that information to give me feedback on my text.
Shape and guide your feedback specifically by the requests and needs I am specifying in my “Dear Reader” Letter.
I will take notes on the feedback you give and begin to make a plan for revision.
Use second voice (e.g. “you”) in your narrative response to my text.
Answer questions posed in my “Dear Reader” Letter and respond to the ideas I’ve shared in that letter.
Avoid making generic comments like “this is great” or I don’t get it.”
I looking for your comments to specifically quote from my text and be useful for me when I write the next draft of my text.
[DEAR_READER_LETTER] [TEXT]Try it yourself
- Edit a Discussion Post or create a new one.
- Open AI Mojo in the top right corner of the edit page. It looks like a game controller.
- Open the Templates tab.
- In the drop-down box, select the templates “Revising 12” to “Revising 15” one at a time.
- Add all of your text from the left side to the text box. Note that for “Revising 15” you also need to write a “Dear Reader” Letter.
- Hit the Generate button.
- Try it again with the same template and text. You might get better results.
