This sucks. I am a senior in high school, and I don’t get the one moment I’ve waited for my entire life. I’m also not going to try and hide the fact that I feel this way or feel bad for feeling this way. Essentially, I have worked my entire life for this one moment that won’t happen. Yard signs are great and all, but they can’t replace my final quarter of high school or my graduation. I was supposed to be in a theatre showcase, graduation, Senior Sunset, Baccalaureate mass, a senior last night at boondocks, senior farewell assembly, in-person class, bazillion blast, fun times with my friends, and a 4th quarter, but it was all taken. The reality of these facts is that I do think that quarantine is necessary, and I want my family members safe too. However, that doesn’t mean that I cannot feel bad about the fact I won’t get the rest of my senior year. I need to stop seeing juniors, sophomores, and freshmen, saying that they don’t care. It hurts, and it hurts more when others invalidate your feelings. For the past three years, I’ve sat through commencements waiting for it to be my own, but now there won’t be a traditional graduation ceremony. I won’t get to go to hours of monotonous practice for events that probably would’ve been painful, but at least the end would be rewarding. None of these material things bother me as much as missing time with my friends. I am moving away for college, and my best friends are also moving away for college. Despite the summers and breaks, it won’t ever be the same. We’ll move away and grow, become better people. Yes, we’ll still connect, but not in the same way as high school. We won’t ever have a class together again, be high schoolers ever again, see each other every day, and these things seem trivial, but they aren’t. A senior year expectation is that it will be a special year that belongs to you. I was supposed to be on stage with my best friends and take pictures after. The last time our entire class will ever be together is not going to happen. Also, I won’t get to learn the alma mater barely and forcibly sing it with all my classmates that don’t know it either. It would’ve been embarrassing, but it’s part of the high school experience. The fact that it was impossible to know that our last day would be our last day, I never got closure. My last day of high school is technically May 19, but it was really March 12. I just want to be done with high school, because maybe then I could leave this daily cycle of remembering what I have lost. I’m sincerely sorry to all the seniors who missed anything this year, it’s valid to feel mad, sad, or anything else, you deserved that graduation. We all did. 

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6 Comments
  1. Tiffany 2 weeks ago

    Hi, I 100% agree with you. This sucks and I wish it was different. We’ve all worked so hard for the last 4 years for this moment, and instead, we get yard signs and 5-minute graduation with only immediate family. There were so many things I was looking forward to this last quarter, and it definitely did not have anything to do with sitting at home all day. But, we did it. We finished high school. I mean it’s not the way we all wanted it to be, but we still did it and that’s what’s important. So focus on the positives, and keep the memories of Judge fresh in your mind.
    It’s time to say goodbye and create new memories and meet new people and just move forward with our lives. It’s college time and we’ve been preparing for this moment since freshman year.

  2. Sam 2 weeks ago

    I feel you and understand how you are feeling without a doubt. Isn’t this all quite underwhelming? Im personally most bummed about not having a proper prom because that’s kind of like the last hurrah with everyone. Although this feels terrible and is not quite what we were anticipating, we must look at the as a new chapter in our lives book being turned over and this disappointment should turn to excitement. I hope the best to you and to see you again in the future.

  3. Ronata 2 weeks ago

    Hey Natalie
    We’re in the same boat. I hate that we won’t be able to ever have the full experience of senior year. I don’t know about you but I felt absolutely defeated when this madness started. Putting in 110 percent effort year after year only to be met with the reality that you “won’t be able to walk.” Oh yeah, and no more games or dances or plays. It’s easy to be overwhelmed with hopelessness and anger and like you sad we have that right but at the end of the day, we made it. It might not be acknowledged enough but we did that!! Hope you the best.

  4. Zane 2 weeks ago

    Dear Natalie,

    I feel your frustration, and almost like everything you worked up for has been taken away. Every senior this year wasn’t expecting our last year to go this way at all. But you have to look at this in a positive way. You still get the diploma you’ve worked your life off to get, and no one is any less proud of you or any other senior. One sentence that stuck out for me was “None of these material things bother me as much as missing time with my friends.” I think this is what hurts the seniors most. Because for the friends we didn’t see outside of school we never go to say a goodbye not knowing if we’ll ever even see them again. Another sentence that I felt was “I just want to be done with high school” and this stood out to me because even though our graduation was different than any other classes we still made it. Thanks for your writing and sharing your thoughts and feelings about this topic. Hopefully you do see the good in this situation, and It doesn’t impact your thoughts any longer than it has.

  5. gb20009 2 weeks ago

    Dear Natalie,

    I certainly can relate to this. The fact that all sports, activities, and even graduation have been cancelled is frustrating. No big ceremony with all your family and friends cheering for you as you receive your diploma and no senior night for spring athletes is something that most of us seniors will not be able to just forget.

  6. Derrick Johnson 2 weeks ago

    Dear Natalie,

    After reading your post I can feel the frustration that you have and I can tell you its more than justified. Your absolutely correct that its not fair that you don’t get to spend those last moments with some classmates you may never see again and walk the stage with friends you may have for life. That being said I want to tell you that one thing your missing is the connections with your friends although your moving. This isn’t the end of your friendship and although you may not be able to see your friends as often because you guys are all going to different schools. The connections you have with those friends will stay the same regardless of the distance between you as long as you guys stay connected. You have the whole entirety of your life and your friends going off on their own journey will only come back to teach you new things when you all see each other again. I don’t want to sound like I’m telling you to be happy and look forward to the future because that’s not what I’m trying to say at all. All I’m trying to say is although this virus is ruining chances and opportunities at great lasting memories with your friends. Don’t let this virus make you believe that their won’t be anymore grand moments besides this high school journey. It has only stopped one of many of joys will experience in life.

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