My desire to become an independent woman and have the strength of being around people more often were the biggest challenges for my life. I could never be independent because my family did not trust me to go outside of the Black Neighborhood  that we were living. They have always believed that there was nothing impossible for Dee, but it was a lot of obstacles for me. It felt that just Dee was the only one who got a decent education and I was left behind. But I honestly can say that I have never envied my sister. Well I did want to become something more like her but that was all because I wanted to  get the acceptance of my family. 

The hardest part for me was feeling all those overwhelmed feelings in which my mom never gave me a hug, my grandmother looked at me in a different and unusual way. It felt that no one cared about me. I always felt left behind because I always wanted to have everything. And when I say everything, I mean love. But I never got anything. I was always lonely. I couldn’t have an education because I wasn’t someone’s favorite. But being someone’s favorite is  not the biggest achievement that anyone could have in their life. It was a struggle but it was like a nift stabbed in the chest but the more pain you have you need to keep it to yourself because you’re alone in a desert without any help to get out. 

As I was living in a world were black people still not accepted or mostly approved by society. I Maggie personally felt that beside all the differences that I was facing outside home were nothing compared to the ones I lived at home from own family. At a young age, I lived with my grandmother Mama and my sister Dee. Dee was always getting the best from everyone and I was always put last. There was not a specific reason of why she always get everything and my own family forget me. I have always been a great child as well as my sister but many people always thought that I felt a sense of envy towards her. In some ways I admire her because of her outgoing  personality and her strength to be an independent black young woman within all at home. 

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CC BY-SA 4.0 The hidden Struggle of my life. by Denieris is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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Youth Voices is an open publishing platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.

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