One big impact in my life was my brother leaving home. It was simple, he no longer liked school. It all started when he stayed out late at the age of 16. He began to date girls, and he wanted to be older. He told my mom he wanted to drop out of high school, my mom was not convinced. Ever since he was younger my mom always pushed him to do good in school. My mom and dad were and still are his biggest supporters. He didn’t stop thinking about dropping out and towards the end of his junior year, he got signed off of high school by my mom. Still wanting him to finish school, she signed him up to an academy for his senior year. At the time he was working, and he started making money. The academy dropped him after two absences. He earned more money and by the end of the year, he moved into his girlfriend’s house. This wasn’t a surprise, earlier that month he told my mom he was going to leave the house.

After he left, I didn’t know how to feel. It was hard to see my mom cry when telling her friends that he left. I was asked multiple times if I missed him at home. How could I tell people that a piece of me left when he did. So, I would just respond with, “He was never really at home anymore”. It may have sounded like I couldn’t care less about him leaving. I realized that even though I sounded like I was uninterested, letting my feelings out would not bring him back home.

The day he left was, as usual, we were at home and our parents were at work. Except for that day, he went out of the door with his gym bag and a backpack. He said, “I’m going outside to play basketball, I’ll be back”. At that moment he closed the door. I was suspicious, I ran to the window to see where he was headed. Parked outside was his girlfriend’s car. She popped the trunk open and placed his bags inside. He got in the car, they drove off. Not even a goodbye. I was angry, not at her, not at him, I was angry at myself.

I still replay that day. Could I have done something to stop him?  If I went outside the moment he was leaving could I have convinced him to stay? I felt that he was being selfish and to make it worse, he didn’t even say goodbye. He left us all feeling like we did something wrong, he made us replay every moment with him and look back and think about each word we said to him. A few weeks passed and my parents and I went to Galveston. It was the first time we had fun just the three of us. I laughed and I smiled, it was something that I hadn’t done in a while. At times, I felt bad for feeling happy. Time goes by and we begin to talk more. He comes over more often and things get better. Then on January 21st, we get a call, it’s my brother. They were expecting a baby. It was exciting news, I was going to be an aunt, and my parents were going to be grandparents. I began to ask, will the baby like being held by me? Could I babysit him?. With their pregnancy, we got more time with them. In the past my brother didn’t care about things, now, he was changed. He was a better brother.

 It was like the idea of becoming a father changed him for the better. I’m not saying he wasn’t nice in the past, just that we didn’t get along because we were both very explosive. Even our mom’s friends noticed that Kenneth had changed. He was going to be a great dad, I could see it. He was always excited to tell us about the baby kicking. It was something very exciting and new to me. Looking back I like the evolving of the relationship I have with my brother. Even though he still picks on me for being small, I still have love towards him.

Now present day, I’m an aunt. Nathanial was born September 17th at 1:59 am, he’s 20 inches long and has the chubbiest cheeks. I was scared to carry him because he was so small and brand new. He has Vanessa’s eyes and Kenneth’s nose and wavy hair. Now I just wonder if Kenneth had stayed at home, would he have a baby right now? Would he have been a better person if he stayed? Would he and I have a better relationship? It’s impossible to guess if that could have happened, but in no way did I ever stop loving my brother. His choices simply impacted our family. My feelings towards the situation changed and I like the way it’s going.

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CC BY-SA 4.0 What Went On In My Life by Guest Post is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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Youth Voices is an open publishing platform for youth. The site is organized by teachers with support from the National Writing Project. Opinions expressed by writers are their own.

CC BY-SA 4.0All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License

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