,
Alongside my friends who talk but I talk not 
The fog covers my mind
We talked the night away
At Prospect Park we unravel  

I admit their convo was intriguing
It was full of laughter and smiles
But they never noticed my coldness
That led me to exile

The convo continued for a strenuous period of time
Skipping from topic to topic
Looking to find another subject
Everyone craving for something new

The convo continued for a strenuous period of time
Stop and started but it then ended
However, they didn’t notice when I left early
Caught up with themselves they forgot about me

Alongside my friends who talk but i talk not
The fog covers my mind
People yearning to have a say
In the heart of prospect park
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CC BY-SA 4.0 Voices in Prospect Park by Jillian is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

3 Comments
  1. Kiran Chaudhuri 3 weeks ago

    Hi, Jillian!

    I notice that you replace “dirt” in the first draft with “heart” in the second draft: “In the heart of Prospect Park”. So interesting!. I like both options. For me, the image of “dirt” brought to mind ground that was unadorned with grass. That visualization made me wonder if dirt symbolized the feelings you had from being unheard and unseen in that conversation: being voiceless or being left out can make one feel unlovely or unimportant or like you don’t matter – like dirt. Then I saw another possible connotation: maybe the “convo” was gossip — like maybe the friends were sharing the “dirt” (intel) on people outside the friend group. Or maybe the topic of conversation was repulsive to you – dirty. Or maybe none of this! Maybe it was just wet out, and the grass was too wet to sit on, so you sat where it was drier. When you replaced “dirt” with “heart”, as in “the heart of Prospect Park”, it seemed like a stroke of genius irony: the friends were heartless.

    I enjoyed reading your poem!
    Your teacher, Kiran.

  2. Hatou 1 month ago

    Dear Jillian,

    I am amazed by your poem, “voices in prospect park” because you gave explicit details on how you feel about the park and what emotions trigger you up. Also, you explained who you like to go to that park with and how much they make you smile.

    One line that stands out for me about your poem is ,’It was full of laughter and smiles.” I think this line was beautiful since that’s your friends are what made you feel the way you feel about that park. This is also important to me because it gives me an idea on what i should do when i’m depressed or sad and who i should go with.

    Another line that outraged me was,”The convo continued for a strenuous period of time”.this quote explains how many things you can share with your friends and how much y’all enjoy each other.

    Your poem reminds me of me and my friends when we go to the park and have lots of fun with each other. I love how you even spoke about them in this poem.

    Thanks for your poem. I look forward to seeing what you make next. I would also love to share your amazing this with others. I’ll advise you to keep up the good hard work.

  3. Wendy 2 months ago

    Dear : Jillian
    I am enchanted By your poem, “voices in prospect park,” because it is really admiring of how u described a good time.Even if your friends didn’t notice when you left, you looked at the positive.
    One line that stands out for me is, “Alongside my friends who talk but i talk not ” I think this line is mysterious because you decided to stay quiet although your friends were having a great conversation.
    Another line that stands out for me is, “Caught up with themselves they forgot about me” I think this line is showing more emotion towards the poem by saying that they had a great time but they didn’t even pay any attention to your absence.
    Your poem reminds me of a poem that I once hanged out with my friends and we had a great time and they also paid no attention to the fact that I had to leave
    Thanks for your poem. I look forward to seeing what you make next.

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