Self worth is something I believe that everyone has struggled with at least once in their entire life. It can be especially hard when you are a teenager and still developing self confidence. We often find ourselves around negativity and sometimes we can not quite escape that environment.

Often times we find ourselves caring about what other people think of us and we find ourselves comparing one another which leads to low self esteem and low self worth. My very first experience in which I felt less than was on my first day of kindergarten. We had been practicing math and when I did not know the answer to the question my teacher looked at me with what perceived as a child as rage. She grabbed me by the arm and sat me in the corner of the class as she called my mother to tell her I wasn’t ready for school. I felt tears prick my eyes as she shouted into the phone, I bit my lip harshly as I felt the stares of the other kids. I had felt so… stupid. It was a terrible experience and I felt so small compared to everyone else.

From that point on my self confidence had deteriorated and because I had such little self worth it made me an easy target for bullies. It began around the middle of the first semester in 2nd grade, I was a bit heavier than most kids in my grade and I was made fun of for it. I was very quiet and never talked to anyone so my bullies knew i wouldn’t tell anyone. People hurt me emotionally and physically until 6th grade. I had felt so worthless and I felt like I deserved the abuse like some type of stockholm syndrome.

By the time I had reached 7th grade I had begun not letting people pick on me anymore but I still bottled everything up. Eventually I was diagnosed with anxiety and Major Depression and struggled with severe suicidal tendencies. Once I entered high school my self worth has at an all time low. I became addicted to cigarettes, developed an eating disorder and let myself stay in an abusive relationship. I felt worthless and undeserving of any kind of positive feeling. I eventually found my way out of that relationship with the help of my friends but my suicidal tendencies were still very much alive. I found it hard to keep myself focused in school but still did the best  could but the stress kept adding up that eventually i was beginning to have suicidal thoughts at school and had to leave school early and go to an emergency therapy appointment. I ended up being deemed not stable enough to stay home and was hospitalized. During my time there I learned all kinds of mental exercises and learned that change starts with me. I was the only one truly keeping myself from feeling worth something. I wouldn’t be happy unless I let myself admit that i was deserving of it. I am worthy of so much. I am worthy of happiness. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of respect. After I was discharged from the hospital I had decided to go to group therapy. Being there really helped me out especially with being able to relate to the other teenagers my age and even made a couple of friends out of it.

I have learned so much in the span of a couple of months. Of course I still struggle with self worth but now it’s easier. I know I am worth much more than I think at times. I am in a positive relationship with a guy that cares about me and I am his first priority. For one of the first times in my life I feel truly important and accepted. I will have days that are harder than most and yes sometimes the past will come back to bite me, but I will not let it get to me. I will move forward and not turn back because I am worth more than I will ever know.

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CC BY-SA 4.0 You are worth so much by Nicolette is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

13 Comments
  1. Anthony 1 week ago

    Your story was amazing Nicolette. I respect what you went through, and the sentiments you learned and are telling us right now are very important. We are all worthy of our own, and each other’s respect no matter who we are or what we’ve been through.

  2. Jillian Nelson 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette,

    Thank you for sharing your story, it is truly inspiring. I definitely have not gone through everything you have, but I can relate to the feeling of worthlessness and self doubt. That feeling is the worst feeling in the world and I am so sorry you had to feel this in such a drastic way. Just like you, though, as I have gotten older I have found my real friends and people who build me up instead of tearing me down, which makes all the difference in the world. I would like to hear about some of your coping mechanisms you have learned, so I could maybe implement them into my own life. Thank you again for being so courageous and sharing your story, you are amazing and worth so much!

    Jillian Nelson

  3. Ricardo 2 weeks ago

    Hey Nicolette, I really loved your story, I thought it was very inspiring it really made a bit of an impact on my life. I feel like if I get to know you, you can change the way I look at things a bit.

  4. Destinie 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette, amazing job! The fact that you shared a personal story AMAZES me! The way you broke down and explained self worth and self confidence really made an impact. I don’t know you personally, but by reading this I can just tell that you are an amazing sweet girl! Thank you again for sharing with us!

  5. Kasandra 2 weeks ago

    girl omg you are so brave for sharing such a harsh part of your life, you’re so strong i would never have the guts to put something personal out there and i admire you so much for it. I love how you grew from all of that negative stuff and I’m super happy for you and may your relationship last many many years. Thank you for sharing you story. I can relate to it on so many levels and it feels nice to see how I’m not the only one and can finally relate to someone who went through this my age. I feel like teenage depression isn’t taken serious, but mental health of all ages is important and matters.You are worth so much you don’t even realize it and you deserve to be happy. <3

  6. Emma 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette, thank you for courageously sharing your story. Hearing about self-confidence from such a personal perspective helped me see it in a new light. It’s obvious that self-esteem starts building at a young age, something that is evident in your story. So many people struggle with their self-image. I think sharing your story with even more people would have a tremendous impact. You have inspired me to strengthen my own self-esteem, and for that I am incredibly grateful. It is wonderful to hear about your recovery. I wish you the best of luck as you continuously discover your infinite worth.

  7. Abby 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette,

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your story gives a personal perspective on anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. Reading your narrative also helped me to understand how experiences at a young age can shape you for the rest of your life. It was really inspiring hearing how you were able to overcome obstacles especially when you said, “For one of the first times in my life I feel truly important and accepted”. You are so brave for sharing this very personal part of your life, and by doing this, you might be helping someone who is going through something similar.

    Abby

  8. Anna 2 weeks ago

    I am incredibly impressed by your courage shown through your story. Your willingness to share will touch many lives and you have chosen a topic which is not talked about enough. I agree with what you said, most everyone struggles with self image and self confidence at times. I know I have. I found your use of repetition toward the end very empowering, specifically when you said, “I am worthy of so much. I am worthy of happiness. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of respect.” If you could change one thing maybe proof read to eliminate grammar mistakes, but overall I loved your essay. Especially in today’s world, technology has made low self esteem a common issue and people are in need of your message more than ever. Thank you for sharing!

  9. Beatrice 2 weeks ago

    You are so brave to tell your story. The world needs more people like you. You are so brave. You are an inspiration. Your last line should be on tee shirts and merch to inspire people. I went through the same thing as you. I understand how hard it is to tell your story.

  10. Alexis 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette, I chose your post because I think this topic is a very important issue that many times people are too afraid to talk about. I think it is very brave that you shared you story, I am confident your post will help others who are struggling with self worth as well to see they are not alone. I really liked how you said, “I was the only one truly keeping myself from feeling worthy of happiness”. This reminded me of a book I am reading in one of my classes called Tattoos on the Heart. This book focuses on people who believe that they are not worthy of good because of who they are. I think this is something that effects many people in our world today, but just like you said it is important to come to the realization that you are worthy of love and that respect and so much more. Thank you for sharing your story.

  11. Elena 2 weeks ago

    Hi Nicolette I really liked your post. I found it very inspiring and passionate. really liked the last line, ” I will move forward and not turn back because I am worth more than I will ever know.” I liked this line because it shows the self confidence and maturity you have gained throughout your lifetime.

  12. Maggie 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette, I want to start of by telling you how happy I am that you shared your story. It is stories like yours that will help break the stereotypes of mental health problems. I can relate to some of what you say; it can be so hard to realize how worthy we are of love. I am so proud of you for coming to a point of realization and reminding yourself that you are loved. You are an amazing writer and I look forward to reading more of your pieces.

  13. Gwendolyn 2 weeks ago

    Nicolette,

    This is such a brave story. Thank you so much for sharing. Your personal narrative about your experiences in elementary school helped me to understand a little bit about how self confidence can deteriorate from a young age. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I would love to hear more about the exercises that you learned that helped you get to this place and the people who supported you. I hope that you continue writing about your unique story. The world needs to hear you.

    You are exceptional. Thanks for being so courageous.

    Gwen

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