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Dear Youth Voices Community,

My name is Alex Ramirez, and I am an 11th-grade student at Fremont High School.

I feel very powerful about doing my Capstone research before my senior year starts. If I make mistakes, I still have a lot of time to make changes.

This is my current thesis statement about deportation: The excessive amount of time it takes for U.S citizenship papers to be processed causes Mexican people to emigrate illegally.

In order for my thesis to be considered proficient, I have to do well in my research. Based on the rubric it says that getting a 3, or Proficient, means I have to format a focused and argument thesis about a social inequity problem. My thesis will help guide how I read my sources and conduct my field research.

I would greatly appreciate your feedback and help on my thesis statement as it is written so far.

Sincerely,

Alex Matias Ramirez

Fremont High School

Architecture & Design Academy

Class of 2019

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CC BY-SA 4.0 Deportation (Can I Get Some Feedback On My Thesis) by Alex is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

1 Comment
  1. JR 1 year ago

    Hi Alex,

    I think you’re off to a good start in wanting to get a jump on the assignment. Can you find enough reasons that are associated with the paperwork process for the entire essay? You don’t mention the required word count, but I’d be worried about that part.

    Best of luck on the assignment.

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