For the most part, my inner voice was the same for most of my life up until the end of my sophomore year.  I grew tired of being slightly goofy while being very self-conscious so I took action and made a change. I wasn’t really changing my voice in my opinion, but rather muffling the one that held me back all of these years.  All humans have a voice in their head that constantly shoots out wonderful ideas but sadly there is a second voice that often silences this first voice. This silencing is done by saying harsh negative things about oneself and it causes them to be extremely shy.  I was tired of feeling scared to talk to people so I became aware of this confidence-bashing voice and did whatever I could to make it stop. Many moments made me feel uncomfortable but I decided that others react based off of how they see me react. This means that all I have to do is laugh at myself a little to dispell the awkwardness to make stupid comments more bearable.  Another positive about this tactic is that it allows me to create instant connections (inside jokes) with people I hardly even know. Quieting this second voice in my head has produced many positive effects but it was extremely difficult to accomplish.

After months of constant ego-regulation, I finally started to feel the benefits of self-confidence but I know I am nowhere near the end of my journey.  I made many sacrifices such as quitting soccer in order to be around a more enjoyable group of people or risking it all by joining a sport for the last two years of my high school career.  I look back on this very often and I tell myself that the risk was totally worth it and my happiness today is the evidence of that. I also look back and see how the cross country runners I was with really allowed me to open up and be who I truly am.  For this reason, I believe one’s true voice is always present but it takes supportive, awesome people to let that voice be heard.

CC BY-SA 4.0 Reflective Writing on Inner Voice by Ben is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

1 Comment
  1. Sara 4 days ago

    I’m glad that you were finally able to get rid of that second voice that had been dragging you down for so long. I know that I also had a problem, but rather than getting down I would just hesitate before doing things because I was scared of what others would think of me. But as I got older, I realized that if they didn’t like me for me, then they weren’t really that close with me to begin with. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope to read more from you in the future.

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Youth Voices is organized by teachers at local sites of the National Writing Project and in partnership with Educator Innovator.

CC BY-SA 4.0All work on Youth Voices is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License
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