For the most part, my inner voice was the same for most of my life up until the end of my sophomore year. I grew tired of being slightly goofy while being very self-conscious so I took action and made a change. I wasn’t really changing my voice in my opinion, but rather muffling the one that held me back all of these years. All humans have a voice in their head that constantly shoots out wonderful ideas but sadly there is a second voice that often silences this first voice. This silencing is done by saying harsh negative things about oneself and it causes them to be extremely shy. I was tired of feeling scared to talk to people so I became aware of this confidence-bashing voice and did whatever I could to make it stop. Many moments made me feel uncomfortable but I decided that others react based off of how they see me react. This means that all I have to do is laugh at myself a little to dispell the awkwardness to make stupid comments more bearable. Another positive about this tactic is that it allows me to create instant connections (inside jokes) with people I hardly even know. Quieting this second voice in my head has produced many positive effects but it was extremely difficult to accomplish.
After months of constant ego-regulation, I finally started to feel the benefits of self-confidence but I know I am nowhere near the end of my journey. I made many sacrifices such as quitting soccer in order to be around a more enjoyable group of people or risking it all by joining a sport for the last two years of my high school career. I look back on this very often and I tell myself that the risk was totally worth it and my happiness today is the evidence of that. I also look back and see how the cross country runners I was with really allowed me to open up and be who I truly am. For this reason, I believe one’s true voice is always present but it takes supportive, awesome people to let that voice be heard.
Reflective Writing on Inner Voice by Ben is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.