Why is it always at night.

The feeling of loneliness without actually being alone.

The anxiety and rush

Of emotions i can’t

Control.

It’s not the first time.

And i know it won’t be

The last.

Can i?

Can i really make it stop?

I’ve never been able to

And the presence of others

Bothers me,

But my own presence

I can’t stand.

It’s me.

No one else but

Why?

Why is it always at night.

When the tears on my face.

And the inflammation in my eyes

Arent enough to put me to sleep.

Which is what the night is for.

It’s impossible.

And I can’t control it.

And no one can help me.

 

This doesn’t always happen. I sometimes even feel like my body and my brain are purposely making these things happen to me. Like if they’re trying to tell me something and i’m just not too comfortable with myself to try to understand. I can’t feel empathy for others if I don’t even have empathy for myself no matter how hard I try to. How do people live with themselves all alone? Over time I learn that there is more to myself than anything I could ever imagine but I just haven’t reached that point yet. I know I will and I know it will come soon but for now all I have is me and all I need is me. Being content with myself isn’t impossible but it shouldn’t be a negative experience. The hard dark mark of my pen will soon turn into the words I speak and connect to with other people. I’m not alone and you’re not alone. Stepping out of my comfort zone is what I need to do but I can only make that happen if my voice is heard and if I can be understood by what my own world had put me through. I just hope that time is soon.

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CC BY-SA 4.0 nights by Angela is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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2 Comments
  1. Zoe 7 months ago

    Angela, I really liked the format of your poem. It kept me interested and flows well when read aloud. I can relate to feeling the most lonely at night. Also, I understand where you are coming from with your lines about empathy. Sometimes I feel like I should have empathy for others in certain situations, but I don’t, and it is not something that I’m proud of.
    I really felt something when you said, “The hard dark mark of my pen will soon turn into the words I speak and connect to with other people”. I tend to grasp my feelings more easily when I write them down.
    This is a great poem and I think there is something in it that everyone can relate to.

  2. Nina 7 months ago

    hey angela,
    I think what you have here is defiantly something, I strongly connect to. I get nerves and anxious at night too. But sadly, I know why they are there. What could really help us both is some meditation and a break, don’t you think? anyway, your voice is definitely being herd right now, and you should keep stepping out of that box, and show who you are.

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