Why I’m quiet as hell

 

Most people would not think I’m quiet. In fact they would say I’m loud.

Reality is I’m quiet.

I’m antisocial.

I’m lonely.

Most of the time I choose to be antisocial and lonely.

I’m “loud” around my friends.

Truth is, I’m just hiding my quietness.

Why?

Around my friends, I feel like an outcast.

A stranger amongst a strong bond of friends.

I feel like no one would realize if I wasn’t around them anymore.

Truth is,

I feel forgotten.

I feel lost.

 

Growing up I didn’t really have friends.

I was always alone.

I didn’t have anyone to talk to.

No one to sit and talk about how I feel.

I didn’t have someone to play with, I used to play by myself.

I used to get picked on, more like, bullied for being alone.

 

I never left my house.

Never got invited anywhere.

I was always considered a nerd.

I always did my work and had good grades.

I was always the one kid who you could go to if you needed to copy the homework.

This was consistent, and it followed me though to middle school.

In the first year of middle school I still had no friends,

People only talked to me because I had the answers to the homework.

I was being USED.

But finally being able to talk to people made me blind,

Made me not realized that I was being used.

I still had no friends.

I never left my house.

Never got invited anywhere.

So, I became quiet.

And, now, I’m quiet about being quiet,

Because I don’t think they’ll understand.

Who would understand?

Who would know what it feels to feel like an empty shell?

 

People around me think i’m loud

They think this because they see me laughing,

They see me smile,

They see me enjoy my day,

But in reality they don’t know that i’m usually hiding my emotions.

 

I wear Masks,

I listen to music everyday,

This is my mask,

Mask,

Why Mask emotions?

 

Maybe you wouldn’t understand.

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CC BY-SA 4.0 Why I’m Quiet As Hell. by Marlon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

3 Comments
  1. Nina 2 months ago

    Dear Marlon,
    When I read this poem, I see how much you hide from the world. I know that you can be a very quiet person, but I want you to know that you are not an outcast, nor should you feel forgotten. Our few friends and I will always be here for you, and would never forget you. Maybe it can be hard to speak your mind, or you feel you can’t connect to what we talk, about but it doesn’t hurt to try. When I saw, “They see me smile, They see me enjoy my day, But in reality they don’t know that i’m usually hiding my emotions,” I did a lot of reflecting on my own. I can tell when you have a real smile or a forced one. I want you to know that I know how you feel, and that I may not understand or tell you, but I know. Don’t be afraid to speak out for real, even if you’re a quiet person.

  2. Tanner 2 months ago

    Hey Marlon,
    I really enjoyed your poem. I can relate to this because I am pretty quiet as well. I have a very little group of friends that I hang with during school. As college approaches, I hope to leave my comfort zone and meet new people. Great poem!

  3. Joe 2 months ago

    Dear Marlon,
    What an interesting piece you have Marlon. I like that you have poured your heart into this piece and to why you were quiet. This sentence interests me, “Most of the time I choose to be antisocial and lonely.” most of the times all of us have gone through that and it gives us insight about were we are as a person. Great job at making this poem.

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