Whenever I’m asked to talk about myself and about who I am, I hit a wall. To my mother I’m a studious and hardworking young woman. To my younger brother, I’m just annoying. And to my father, same as my mom with a small gap of all the time we missed apart from each other. When it comes to me, I don’t know what I see, just a heterosexual female. Although I do recognize little things about myself, I get work done when I have to get it done, it may take a little bit of a push but never from anybody else. If I know that it has to be done, I’ll get it done on my own, even if it’s last minute. Growing up, I was always very fond of my father, until my parents got divorced due to domestic violence, that’s when everything changed. I never thought it was real, sometimes I still wonder if this is all in my imagination and if i’m stuck in an 11 year dream period. Part of me felt guilty for loving my father even after everything that he did to my mom, I never had the feeling that it was my fault like in the movies. I don’t even remember much of what I was feeling at that time, mainly fear of what was next.

My name has never been something very significant to me, I like it but I don’t really have a personal deep connection to my name at all. When I was younger I used to hate it because it was long and I thought it was ugly. At some point in my childhood I wanted to be called by my middle name rather than my first. Both elementary and highschool there was one person with the same name as me so I was oftentimes just called “Velasco” by some of my teachers. I didn’t mind this because I liked my last name and I still do, It’s rare and I don’t see a lot of people with the same last name as me. I feel like my name is a good mix of both my mom and dad considering the fact that my mom gave me my middle name and my dad gave me my first and my last name. I started liking my name in highschool it wasn’t just that I got used to it, I liked how it sounded and I liked spelling it, I also feel like it defines me for who I am, it goes with me well.

I didn’t really have a nickname from my friends because I didn’t really have any friends until I got to high school. I remember mentioning that I hated the nickname given by my family, that being “Cristi”, somehow it stuck and now everybody calls me it. It doesn’t bother me anymore, I actually like being called that by my friends.  

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CC BY-SA 4.0 Reflecting on the Significance of My Name in 2018 by Cristina is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

6 Comments
  1. German 2 months ago

    Dear Cristina,
    I am moved by your memoir, “Reflecting on the Significance of My Name in 2018” because I also didn’t like my name when I was younger and wanted everyone to call me something different. One sentence that stood out to me was,”My name has never been something very significant to me, I like it but I don’t really have a personal deep connection to my name at all” this stood out to me because I connect with this. I as well have never really had a connection to my name so it has always been whatever about it. Another sentence that stood out to me was,“ I started liking my name in highschool it wasn’t just that I got used to it, I liked how it sounded and I liked spelling it, I also feel like it defines me for who I am, it goes with me well.” this stood out to me because this also connects to me and how now I do like my name. Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you are really interesting as a writer.

  2. Elizabeth 2 months ago

    Dear Cristina,
    Thank you for sharing all these personal stories. I like the sentence where you mentioned your confusion from where you were younger. You said how you felt guilty at moments for loving your father which is very true because I know how many kids may feel this confusion when their parents separate when they are still very young. Thank You for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you have very good counter narratives to share and I enjoy reading about very good true stories.

  3. Angela 2 months ago

    Dear Cristi,

    Since being your friend for a while I can understand what your name can mean to you. This was a strong piece that I know let out a lot of emotions for you and I am here for u because i love u. And also great writing, very good. #tth <3

    • Angela 2 months ago

      In addition, I also noticed that you mentioned you had a middle name but didn’t mention what it was. Hmmmmm. So we keeping secrets from the world now?

    • Author
      Cristina 2 months ago

      fake, you didn’t read my memoir 🙁

  4. Aida 2 months ago

    Dear Cristina,

    Hi I really liked how you said you don’t really like talking about yourself to people, but then you started talking about yourself in this piece. This piece made me understand where your name comes from. I know a little bit about you now. Overall it was a really nice piece.

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