My full name is Yadira Magana Leon.

“Yadira” is the name that I go by.

Only teachers call me by my first name.

This name is different from others, hardly no one ever heard the name Yadira before.

I always have been the only Yadira in my class.

“Yadira” means a smart, nice, sweet, caring, a sense of humor, loyal, faithful, fun and the realist friend.

 

That doesn’t sound like me.

I don’t like being smart.

I don’t care.

I have a terrible sense of humor.

I ain’t fun.

I ain’t the realist friend.

I hate being nice.

I don’t like eating or being sweet.

I can’t be loyal because I’ve been betrayed my whole life.

I ain’t faithful because I’ve never had faith in your shit.

I am lazy.

I can be dumb.

I can be too serious.

I can be smile at times, even when it’s rough.

I am responsible and I respect others.

I am unique, one of a kind.

I even love sour stuff.

I don’t care what society or anyone else thinks.

I am different and different is beautiful.

 

There is nothing special about my name.

My name wasn’t the name I was called by in elementary and middle school.

All I remember were the nicknames that were given to me.

My classmates never called me by my name.

 

Only nicknames.

 

I was called four-eyes, nerd, retard, useless, loser, gross, bitch, crybaby, snitch.

Those are the nicknames that were given to me.

I have memories of being called those names.

Those name felt like pieces of trash that I keep holding on when they hit me.

 

But now I don’t care.

Nicknames don’t affect me.

They only bring back the past.

They only made me think that those names hurt me long ago.  

 

I want to be called whatever you want to call me.

I don’t care if you don’t use my name.

That won’t affect me, my life nor my future.

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CC BY-SA 4.0 It describes but doesn’t finalize by Yadira is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

2 Comments
  1. Angel 1 day ago

    Dear Yadira,

    I am interested by your post, “It describes me but doesn’t finalize,” because you talk about what your name means to you and what it means to other people. One sentence you wrote that stands out to me is: “I want to be called whatever you want to call me.” I think this is confusing to me because a lot of people who get called out of their name don’t want to be called that. Another sentence that caught my attention was: “I don’t care if you don’t use my name. That won’t affect me, my life nor my future.” This stood out to me because you don’t feel bad when people call you names because it doesn’t affect you. Thanks for writing. I look forward to see what you write next.

  2. Luis 1 week ago

    I liked your post. It felt really honest and real.

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