In life, we often think that the only way to be secure is to be secure in oneself. Humans tend to feel like we need to prove something to ourselves, that we are independent and don’t need other people to be fulfilled. We long to be enough on our own, to be satisfied with ourselves to the point that we don’t need reassurance. In an ideal world, we see ourselves as content with what we have, including ourselves, and we don’t depend on any outside factors to determine how we feel about life. We are told that “in the end, the only person you have is yourself.”
I can see many problems arising from this mindset, including insecurity and isolation. By believing that we need to be independent to be fulfilled, we are keeping ourselves from connections that we need in our lives. That is why this idea needs to be altered so that we can see the importance of the security we get from connections with other people.
As important as self-security is, it cannot come solely from being alone. An article written on Huffpost states that the 5 factors needed for happiness are health, money, self-love, hard work, and relationships. While the first four factors are very important, it is not possible to have self-love, stable mental health, or work ethic without relationships to uphold them. “What you need is people in your life who care about you and vice-versa. People with whom you can laugh, cry, hug, touch, kiss and share life.” Connections are so necessary to motivate us in other aspects of our lives, and to teach us self-love by showing us where we fit in the lives of others.
We need connections with other people to stay alive, let alone happy. One of the basic needs for a species to continue surviving is their ability to reproduce. For humans, this involves human connection and relationships. We need human connection from the moment we are born all the way to reproduction. Connections with others are a natural thing for us to long for, and we need to stay active in society. Denying ourselves this necessary part of living, we are deprived of so much more. Forcing ourselves into independence is unhealthy, and a form of self-sabotage.
As much as we can deny our need for others, it is a natural part of being human, and it is not something that we should shove to the side. These natural impulses to long for others are necessary and normal. We should learn to embrace them and focus on strengthening our connections with others because they are so important. It is nice to feel enough on our own, and be happy alone, but we need others, and we should face that fact. An article from Psychology Today states, “ the idea that there’s something wrong with you if you need good social ties to be happy is silly–and destructive.” We all know that we need these “social ties,” and having them doesn’t make us a weak person.
As we look at our connections with others in the future, we should take a step back and realize how vital they are to our wellbeing. Becoming connected to others and depending on them for emotional needs is important our happiness. No one is strong enough to handle everything on their own, and this needs to be accepted so that we can live better, more stable lives.