“Showing emotion is a sign of weakness”- this stigma has made us think sharing our feelings is something that we shouldn’t do. Think, how many people do you hear openly admit they attend weekly therapy sessions? Or, share that they had a good cry in the shower last night? Not many will.

We hide our emotions because we’d prefer not feeling uncomfortable, or risk revealing to much to one person. But if we can’t be advocates for ourselves,  then how will we learn to advocate for others?  People are trained to numb their feelings through the use of drugs, alcohol, or simply not communicating… We are depriving ourselves from acquiring genuine joy. If you believe being vulnerable results in pain, then you will never create an opportunity to invite other emotions, like joy, into your experiences.

Loyalty is the root of maintaining deep connections with other individuals. Your allegiance to someone helps build trust between two people who have a friendship, or are involved romantically. But, it seems people are struggling to commit to any type of relationship. Guarding ourselves, and not sharing what we are feeling is destroying our self-esteem and relationships. This sense of horror when thinking of revealing our true selves to the world is crippling our enjoyment in life.

We are fearful in order to survive, but living in fear is no way to be alive. Humans are meant to be social beings, but often, our fear of being hurt is more heightened than our desire to be loved.  I can say that those you trust and love most can be the ones who also have the power to hurt you the worst. When people are asked about love, the first thing that comes to mind is often, ‘heart break.’  Our past betrayals can guide us to develop shallow relationships, rather than meaningful ones, as a protective mechanism.  This safe guard is built to avoid feelings of disappointment, or abandonment but it also prevents us from creating new, healthy relationships.

In refusing to be vulnerable, we prohibit ourselves from being authentic. You may feel at ease by avoiding the risk of rejection, but eventually this routine won’t satisfy your need for belonging. Vulnerability is the base of all our changing emotions, and without it, we can not invite ultimate happiness and unfeigned love to our doorstep.

P.S. I cry in the shower all the time, it’s okay!

 

 

 

 

 

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CC BY-SA 4.0 Being Vulnerable is a Good Thing? by Averi is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

5 Comments
  1. Mia 1 week ago

    Averi, I love that you chose to write about this! I am a pretty sensitive person myself, even though I may not show it as much. I am a pretty emotional person, however I have enough in me to share my emotions with people. I don’t feel that being an emotional human being makes us vulnerable, it makes us human. I believe that this idea of emotional people being vulnerable is old and I believe that humans who are full of emotion are strong, in touch with themselves, and care about themselves and everything around them. So as I said, I don’t believe that being emotional makes us vulnerable, however vulnerability isn’t a good thing to be. If emotion becomes uncontrollable, then it can cause us to be subject to vulnerability.
    My favorite part of this post is when you said that “those you trust and love most can be the ones who also have the power to hurt you the worst” because this is so truthful. If those people break you, then it is so easy to be vulnerable to inferior friendships that are rebounds which use you. It is ok to be emotional about this kind of “break up” because those strong bonds that break hurt; at a point in time those people were family to us and they cared deeply for us, and now it seems like they don’t care for you anymore. I have experienced a couple of these circumstances, and I can say that they did make me vulnerable for a little bit because I did not know what to do with myself when I didn’t have a loving support system that used to be there for me all the time, but in the end you learn and grow from the experience and it just makes you stronger.
    Here is a great article on vulnerability that I think would help you get a rounder view of this idea vulnerability thing:
    https://greatist.com/live/fear-of-vulnerability

    Thank you for your honesty!

  2. Jenessa 1 week ago

    Averi!

    I love this. I agree with everything you stated above. Nowadays, especially, its really easy for us to make up our emotions or hide them behind the screen of a phone, or with a post on instagram, twitter, etc. Emotions are natural, and being sad or angry is just as important as being happy or excited. It is okay to not be okay all of the time. Emotions are good.

    Thank you for sharing(:

  3. Sage 1 week ago

    Averi,

    I loved your piece and totally agree with everything you discussed. I think it is crucial to express our feelings, but today’s society wants us to compress our emotions. I think gaining self-confidence helps with our ability to be confident in sharing our feelings. I am looking forward to reading more of your writing.

    Sage

  4. Katie 1 week ago

    Honestly? This is amazing. I love this so much and I started tearing up when reading this. The only thing I would like to add is that it’s very important to show the things you’re struggling with (illness-wise) because although ableist people may discriminate against you, many people will still love and accept you

  5. Bobby 1 week ago

    Averi,
    I agree that the stigma, showing “emotion is bad” is a falsehood. But I would still say feeling vulnerable is a not a good thing all time, it’s an unfortunate reality of life that not many will care, or they pretend to care, sharing what you feel to anyone is a dangerous game, so sharing emotions to the people that matter is a tricky line to balance. But when you do share what you feel it is totally worth it and find someone who cares, it is totally worth it. I bet you are loyal to the friends you have.
    Bobby

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